Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 83 – Lost Future?

In Confessions on January 28, 2011 at 2:26 AM

i’ve read so many stories and never thought id be cofessing here. well here i am
im not kuwaiti, but i have lived here for so many years, my friends are all kuwaiti, my family now are almost all kuwaiti and this is where im planning to live.

however, theres a secret thats traumatising me. im not a virgin, i was molested as a child back home, i lost it ..
when i think of mariage it terrifies me, now im 19, 3 guys 56eboni bs i had to reject because of my dark secret.
i love this guy and he seems to be serious about me. im afraid if i tell him about it he’ll leave or think ive been doing things, even though he knows me really well and knows that i barely go out.

my mom passed away and the only person who knows about my secret is my sister. not even dad. a7is itha i tell him, sharafa will be gone.
plus i really dont want him to know

what to do ?
i feel like noone wil be marrying me and it terrifies me to death.

  1. Doesn’t matter where you’re from, the middle eastern society wouldn’t really accept your case, having that virginity is extremely important. Though people will understand it’s not ur fault, they still won’t accept it. And they always have this way of rooting the whole problem bak to the girl, its always her fault, even tho its not. In islam, its advised that you dnt speak of your past to ur husband, well only the bad things that happened in your past, so that ur husband wudnt look down on you. This isnt your fault, and Allah knows that, you shudnt feel afraid of marriage or terrified. Marry the guy you love and leave the rest to Allah.

  2. Just tell him the truth and see if he accepts it or not if he wants any evidence make your sister stand by your side while telling him. Also don’t be mad if he left at least you did your part which is being honest and truthful to him.

  3. First of all, everybody says Kuwaitis are fucked up in the head and will accept nobody who isn’t a virgin. That’s probably 65% true, but not necessarily EVERYBODY is. It isn’t your fault you got raped, I’m positive you aren’t alone. Some people get raped and are with child, and their life is practically destroyed. I guess it depends on the way your dad is, but I’m sure he cares about you a lot and I’m sure he’s very protective over you especially after your mother passed away (and I’m sorry about this) because he’s on his own. It is up to you whether you tell him or not, but do not let this situation get to you. If your future husband is really that great as he should be, he should understand. Those who don’t accept it aren’t really marrying you because they love you. At least you have some support, but the situation isn’t as bad as it can get.
    If you can’t get this out of your head I suggest counselling. It’s doesn’t make you seem crazy, it just means you want to solve your problem and you need support. Everything is confidential and they’re there to help you, they don’t judge you or anything.
    Think about it.

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