Kuwait's Confession Box

Archive for September, 2010|Monthly archive page

Confession 79 – Cousin’s Dilemma

In Confessions on September 15, 2010 at 12:51 PM

Hey again!

It’s the second confession here well it’s not a confession just something on my mind mm I secretly talk to my GUY cousin on MSN! without my mum knowing! well mum is not OPEN-MINDED about being friends with a GUY! and I dont know why! but this cousin bel thaaat is like HATED men keel el family EXCEPT ME! my other girl cousin who is my best friend thinks he’s a very rude person and according to what she says only hurt me just about time that I’ll start realizing how much of a jerk he is ! and all of that because they dont get along ! well there some other cousin that used to be really close to him and at the end he said some really cruel stuff to her! well a lot have happened m3a this guy! LIKE ALOOOOT  mn 3 years taqreeban I talk to him so there was ALOT OF DRAMA! like if i wanted to write about it, it would take a whole book! kena really close fl beady bas I did some childish stuff! and his reaction was more childish! so we drifted apart for some time and then got back to being friends bs still not like before and he changed alot in the time we were apart he travelled with some guys who had a bad influence on him and he CHANGED! started ignoring some times! saying BRB and not coming back ! and saying HI once a week if I was lucky while b4 we used to talk DAILY! and its like vie been living on this hope that he’ll be THAT person again but that never happens! it happens like once a month and then the next day he’s back to his habits and thats just the way it is since ive added him its like one month we’re great and the next month I hate him then I delete him; then I miss him then I re-add him & again we fight and its all over AGAIN! he says one nice thing to me and am back am not like that with anyone else like seriously a7s he controls my brain!! y3ne you know its like one day a month he’s the sweetest person in the whole world and we talk for an hour or two and it erases all of his rudeness through out the past month is that crazy? its like I feel I can’t have him in my life YET

I cant live without him! its either friends or khalif its like i never knew you! u know what do I mean! all of this is just way too confusing alot of ppl say he’s a player; a bad boy!! bas wallah a7s they never saw his good side; I dont want to judge him based on other people’s experiences! like there are people who does alot of stuff that are WORST!  no one says anything about hl nas + Ive had a crush on this cousin for some time and got over it but I  cant explain what am going through like why the hell would I be here STILL talking about him & making excuses for him if I didn’t have feelings for him! el meshkela I don’t want to admit it to my self because a part of me knows is never gonna happen and that he’s just gonna break my heart eventually! bas there’s this other part that screams! “you’re meant to be” while on the other hand! being around such a PERFECT human being! he goes to a great college + he looks really good! it makes me think am WELA SHAY inah he’s too good for me oo inah am not good enough and all of those negative thoughts kills me wallah! it causes serious depression; sometimes I don’t eat anything for days! and it also makes me cry my self to sleep every night oo fel nehaya I ask my self, IS IT WORTH IT; LIKE WTH IS WRONG WITH ME! Ive gone crazy, should I keep holding to my dream of being his girl or the right thing to do is to GET OVER IT !!

Confession 78 – My Mom’s A Bitch

In Confessions on September 15, 2010 at 12:30 PM

My mom is a bitch. Period. Seriously. I hate her so much. Shagoool oo Sh5aleee?? I’m the type that etha ‘6rbtoony 3la 5ashmee 3la 6ool it bleeds, she knew that and she always used that f 9al7ha.. In other words kanat etkf5ny. Etbarid 7artha, s3at even just because she felt like it. This carried on until i was in grade 8. She’s so stupid.. Lazem dayman heiii el9aaa7 oo ana el’3laa6 ! Actually heiii el9aaa7 oo everyone else is wrong ! If i proove her wrong? Oh i get hit, and get my phone and laptop taken away. Lovely yeah? It’s pretty stupid. All my siblings are married. It’s only me left. I’m the one that has to at7mlha.. and it’s getting worse now since i’m the only one oo all the attention is 3laay… She’s crazy. My parents..? They’re never on good terms. If they are? It’s only for me. Tgdroon tgoolon I’m daddys girl. My dad loves me wayed.. Oo hoo yn6er bs mita atzwaaaj oo aftaaaak min hal 3eesha ! Maskeen wallla Yg6iii3 galbe 7eeel ! The last time my parents kano mt’hwsheen kano By6lgoon .. bs they didn’t because they thought enaah I need them to be together..

The truth is I dont .. I really don’t want my mom in my life. She makes my life a living hell.. An6eer mta aftaak minha wallah.. Of course, nothing new. Another Fight 3la shaaay taf’h .. Everytime my daaad calls ttl9g oo tswe roo7haa etdwer shaay f ‘3rfty ! Muu 9ij y3ne :S .. oo 3gbha tgoole hatha oboch? oo agool ee oo tgoole shgaal? Oo agool Magal shay !! Y3nee T’tlg’f :/! She keeps lieing 3shaan a6l3 elklaaam mny ! Shes using me .. The only thing i want? Aftaaak minha .. I seriously want them to get divorced oo a3eesh with my dad ! Bss I know enhaaa bt9eer nathlaaa oo btgoolah Oh no we can live in the same house entaaa 6ab8 oo ana 6aab8 3shan 3yale ! Oo elmshkla ay 3yaaaaaal ? Anaa bs ely bgeeet ! Oo ana klsh mabeeha .. almishkla ma7s enah fee anyy chance eny aftk minha .. Like a7s she’ll stay bil kuwait ! Mar7 trj3 deert’ha 3nd ahl.ha .. Like i want her to.. I would want to visit her in fel vacations ! Bss mabe ashoof’ha kil yoom.. jaaad abe aftk minha oo hal 3thaab ely m3yshtnee feeh ! jad jaaaaaad jaaaaaad T3bt all I want them to do is get divorced .. Just needed to get all of this out.. Inshalla 5air .. I really hope enah they get divorced and she goes back to deert’ha

Confession 77 – Lying All Over

In Confessions on September 12, 2010 at 7:50 AM

Ok ! am really lost right now am ashamed of the person am turning into every time I do something wrong I yell at my self in my head saying “THIS IS NOT ME! WTH AM I DOING”

I’ve just realized I might have a serious problem with LYING ! yes am a LIAR ! I dont know when! how or why

first what am going to say is really BAD! like you’re gonna think am the worst person on the PLANET! but really believe me when am saying I HATE MY SELF! well ! it was a couple days ago since we had problems with MAiDES stealing stuff from the house since FOREVER ago ! well mm we have a newly hired maid ! she cleans my room kl yoom and well i’ve noticed that some of my makeup are missing and I asked my mum if she had seen any and then a perfume went missing from my room! so I told mum that I think the Maid is a thief -_- and that mum needs to talk to her cos I can’t have my stuff stolen every now and then -_- and well mum talked to the maids telling them that there r some stuff missing from my room and all well the day after that mum told me to check my room maybe she has returned some of the stolen items
and at the End I found my lipsticks in my closet and I figured that i’ve kept them there b4 traveling ! when mum showed up in my room ! i got really nervous cos she’s gonna kill me if she knew inh am so MHMLA ! when mum saw the lipsticks back in place she was like “she returned them” and b4 I could explain DAD showed up! and he was like @_@ god I need to talk to her about this ! she returned it ?!! and I was just way too scared to tell the truth! and was like YA! I FOUND THEM In The Basket @_@ and then dad decided he wasn’t going to talk to her since 3la golth she GOT THE MESSAGE ! WALLAH WALLAH I HATED MY SELF FOR DOING THIS! I couldn’t sleep all night long!
and I really prayed to god waied begging for forgivness ! its really breaking my heart that I did that to a women who works here! mskeena wallah I can’t even look her in the eyes am so ashamed! el7amdella el salfa is OVER! bs the guilt is killing me & I can’t tell the truth it’s too late wallah!

and then today I LIE AGAIN! WTH is wrong with me mum went to the supermarket to get some stuff for the house and all ! and mean while! the maids asked me if they should clean mum’s room or wait till she’s back I was busy with my laptop so I just told them ya u can clean the room! and when mum was back! she was like HOW DID U ALLOW THEM TO CLEAN MY ROOM without checking if the DRESSING ROOM is locked! don’t u know this new MAID is a thief I started stuttering ! it broke my heart -_- it’s all my fault !! so in order to make her feel safe that the new maid didn’t steal anything from her room I was like “knt wagfa 3la rashum and when they were done with your dressing I closed the door and left” she said ok
and that was a LIE @_@ ! and when mum went to her room she figured that her dressing was locked a9ln and that I was lying ! it was EMBARRASSING ! WALLAH IT’S THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD! and she gave me this big SPEECH about how much Lying can affect me in life and how no one will be able to trust me o che! it really HURTS
I dont want to be that person wallah but I really don’t know what to do ! it’s so SCARY, the thought of having to deal with my lies in the future ! its such a bad habit that I really want to get rid of =( !

I just needed to let this out!! and I really need help !! guys I need to stop LYING !
what can I do !! am I the worst person in the planet & am I gonna be stuck with this LYING problem for the rest of my life!