The sequel to post # 35.
Given the huge response received to post #35, the question of what guys want was raised, and it would be interesting to find out, ladies and gents.
To recap what women want: I should have worded the question differently, what women need, as opposed to want. A need is basic, a necessity, whereas wants are unlimited.
Some want love, some want marriage, some want the baby in the golden carriage!
What about guys? What is it we need from women?
Guys are painted in a bad light in relationships most of the time. Blame the media and stereotypes. Guys are seen as being emotionally distant, uncaring, and focused on only one thing. Read the confessions here, there are plenty. The sins of the few reflect on the many, and the good deeds reflect on the few.
Men do not have tunnel vision, nor one-track-minds.
I dont think men have complicated wants. Theres a joke that goes “women shouldnt undress infront of other women, they’re judgmental, whereas guys are just grateful”, that is the reality of the siutation, minus the undressing ofcourse!
Its hard being a man in this world. In case you havent noticed, men outnumber women here by ALOT. For women, there literally are plenty of fish in the sea, so it feels like walking a tight-rope for guys, one mistake and SPLAT! You’re street pizza.
So is it true that men always have to make the first move? I hope not! We are so desensitized by how the media paints love to be, we play the waiting game on the notion of pride, “he should, she should”, which eventually leads to both tiring and boring and moving on.
So, to resolve this issue, as I said before, ask this simple question to your significant other:
“How would you tell if someone was in love with you?”
This is foolproof, and I speak from experience. If the answer you get is what you have been doing for the person, then know that there is definitely something there. Or, be bold and phrase it as a statement, if I wanted someone to know I love them, I would…
Guys have insecurities; it is not only a girl thing. We tend to second guess ourselves, therefore, just waiting for a guy to do everything, without dropping hints, is intolerable cruelty.
(“a friend” recently met someone, they hit it off really well, lots in common. All of the sudden: poof. Gone. She could be dead for all he knows )
I’m referring of course, to the decent guy. Gals must have an internal criterion for thinning the herd and selecting the decent guy, who is wired to romantically enamor for the long run.
Guys want a woman who is sensitive, yet strong. Flirtatious, yet sincere. Men are geared to be providers, so you must be “in need”.
Guys are sensitive too. It is expected of guys to provide for their significant other, what you may think of bigotry or arrogance, is in fact sincerity & male-chivalry (sometimes it just is bigotry. Again, not the decent guy).
Guy always insists on paying, on doing everything, even if you are capable of doing it yourself, it soothes the primitive gene that tells man “you do all”.
Just as a guy should not pamper a women so as to spoil her, women must not pamper men too much that they would “expect” that as regular treatment e.g. a guy gets gifts for his girl on a weekly basis, for no reason, suddenly stops. Girl asks, why, get me more gifts. Guy has made an act of endearment into a regular chore. Keep it haphazard. And always respond in kind. If a guy has not given you a gift, do not shower them with gifts. Give a little, get a little. Works with fishing; works with people.
Societal stereotypes have typecast men into a monotonous category of unflinching, unyielding dictators, “my way or the highway” mentality. Men are not one-trick ponies. They deal with how society wants them to appear, and how they want to be. What is the impression of “stay-at-home” dad here? Non-existent, hop over to the west, its common-place.
Men want women that can think for themselves, and at the same time know when not to question. Again, society, male ego, it is not a matter of dominance. Science has shown that men think with their minds, women think with their emotions.
What do I want? Simple, Justin Bieber (gag!) sang it best: I just want somebody to love.