Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 69 – Family Family Family

In Confessions on July 18, 2010 at 1:21 PM

This is not my deepest darkest secret. Ive already posted my deepest secret earlier and I was really happy with the replies, that why I decided Id share this problem, since Im in dire need of advice (and honestly have seen the best advice ever to many of the issues),
Here it goes:

I love my family to bits, and know I couldnt have asked for better parents, il7amdilla!! My sister was supposedly diagnosed and medicated for depression when she was in uni in the UK. She finished uni and came back to Kuwait claiming she was still depressed because of the suppressed lifestyle of Kuwait. My parents explained to her that they would not accept her coming back every night at 2am, and explained the whole sim3a, bla bla concept to her. Eventually she started coming home drunk. Ofcourse my parents werent happy and approached it by asking her why shes doing this. After blatantly denying it, she said it was her life and they never loved her anyway and literally went 20 years back comparing how they loved the rest of their kids more than her with the SILLIEST examples.
By now she had a curfew set, because her drunken nights were always late night outings. Ofcourse since Kuwait is very small, word got back to all of us on the SHIT shes been saying.. and it wasnt just gossip, it was people asking us if what our parents were doing to her was true. She had been blowing things up and literally telling everyone she meets how her parents are the devils, basically. Let me mention that my sister is insaaanely popular and many people either adore her or wish her dead. I wish it was only talking shit that was the problem.. but I have not met one person she has spoken to that doesnt believe her (on how my parents are devils).
Next step, curfew didnt help cuz she just got drunk anyway. Next, drunk driving eventually go her into drunken car accidents and 7AMDILLA no one ever got hurt.. Literally dozens of speeding tickets. She was grounded, car suspended but only for a while… my parents couldnt ground her at home forever so soon after she got out I think she started getting high on recreational drugs.

Weve obviously tried speaking to her, but my theory is shes just so selfish and disrespectful that nothing is important to her except for her. Flana, dont u care about your health: Everyone drinks. Flana, dont you care about your sim3a and the familys sim3a: No i dont, plus everyone does it these days. Flana, dont u understand that this is ripping our parents into shreads: I dont care they never loved me anyways.
We moved onto the psychologist, but he only tried to “fix problems between mom and sis” where my mom felt that since she was the discipliner in the family that didnt make her a problem! That didnt work.
Did i forget to mention that shes unemployed for several years now and shes 27! This is far beyond stressing my family… my parents are mentally and physically exhausted after years and years of trying to figure out a way to help her. Us kids at home, try to sleep every night either trying to figure out a solution or thinking of killing her because of the way shes treating our parents and cuz of the stuff shes going around telling all of kuwait.

I feel like weve exhausted all of our solutions. I know for a fact that she will not stop drinking/5arb6ing even if she is cured of her so-called depression because she wants alcohol to be a part of her life, which many people do. Other than the fact that its 7aram/unhealthy/fucking ILLEGAL, she is not being smart about it! The least u could do is not drive!!
I mean the way I see it is shes acting like a teenager. My parents dont love me. Im depressed. I will rebel. What do u do with that teenager after u talk it out and it doesnt work.. You hope that this phase will pass.. Except with my non-teenage sister this “phase” has been close to a decade.

Please help!!

  1. I don’t know much about this but.. I think it would help if you guyz go out together as a family & as for the car, take it away from her for a month or so!! Eventually when she get’s it back, you guyz make a schedule as to who goes out with her each day, prevent her from talking to others & drag her away from beers & instead take her to movies 🙂 By 9:30 or 10:00 drag her back to the car, even if you have to pick her up or pull her!! Just get her in the car & take her home.. Try activities like walking or going to clubs like swimming or climbing 😀 She’s sure to open up eventually!!


  2. have her arrested? like u said, its illegal, and that may be the wake-up call she needs,

  3. I think I know how your sister feels.
    I’m close to her age, was at uni in UK was on antidepressants.
    I know what it feels like to have resentment and rage towards your family. I know what it feels like to drown the pain and mess with your life like you have nothing to loose.
    Don’t be mad at your sister. Understand your sister. All anger comes from pain.
    I wish I could help you out more….

  4. dear confessor،
    im sorry u have a selfish sister that is a homewrecker..
    Im a guy and i used 2 be similiar 2 ur sis… But its easier whe ur a guy and more acceptable by the fam.
    Regardless what u need to do is give her some sort of wake up call that will bring her back to reality. When things start 2 get outta control with me all i need is a visit 2 the cemetery believe it or not and just ponder, lookin at an empty grave and imagining that a headstone would have my name on it. That might not work with ur sis but make sure whatever u do it would be a big reality check.
    Good luck and i wish allah guides her to the right path

  5. I can’t put my thoughts together . What u r saying is beyond my imagination that it’s happenig in Kuwait! Well when I say that it does not make me ignorant. Because I lived alone abroad I live in an open environment and open minded family and I never seen a woman that crazy or insane . Ur sister need profitional help Beyond family restrection and talk because enjoys being a victim and she makes up stories to live it And gets peoples attention. By miss behaving she also gets her family attention and she enjoys that . Some people would kill for attention not only harm themselves or loved ones. If ur family can afford it she needs proffional help outside kuwait. Some sort of a rehab or something . She needs to learn to love herself the right way so she becomes capable to see love around her .
    One more thing because she view herself less than the rest she drinks so much , she is jobless everybody around her is better than her .
    She is not selfish she is weak and insecure that is why she has that scary mask on her.

    I said to much I hope am making sense

  6. Be her best friend and stay close to her

    dont ignore him or let her feel unwanted at home.

    As a previous comment said, take her to activities or sports or even the movies.

    Hope I tried to help!

  7. to all those who say “take her out, be her friend, etc etc” newsflash: this is not an episode of the care-bears. she has been diagnosed with depression.

    my advise to u dear confessor is simple: its either 1) tough love, and try to hammer her bad behavior out of her, 2) valium or effexor, 3) a bit of sacrifice in that one of ur parnets would take time off work to travel abroad to a rehab clinic and see her thru it.

    if u take her out and she makes a scene, as she obviously does not seem to care how she makes u guys look, it will be even more harmful to u.

    cemetary idea sounds intriguing, i went to a funeral here once, and seeing the size of the grave (PS no gravestones), the body being lowered in, covered, it was a wake up call, even tho im not a 100% hell-raiser.

  8. Make an intervention , tell her why ur doing this , tell her u love her , hug her , show her disgusting vids of what alcahole does to ur body , tell her thats u doing it not us , show her old family vids (if u have ) of her and ur mom or dad or whatever , take her to crazy theme parks or skye diving (something crazy to show her tehe meaning of life ) , show her pics of sick homeless people cuz there are people with waaay worse issues , and if i were u ,i would find out those dirty little secrets about her “drinking buddies ” and blackmail them to help get ur sis on the right track (personal opinion , im kinda a freak 😛 ) .
    and i agree with the comment about ( The Law) , take her to a graveyard , its a real wake up call.
    wish the best of luck , ur obviously a very caring & loving sister , dont let her hold u back , she might be just looking for attention .

  9. Skinny Freak, I cant take credit for Zhivago’s idea!

  10. Hey there .. i am sorry to hear that your sister has been doing this to your family and so i can maybe try and help with your problem ..

    solution 1 : try and be close to her sit down with her .. talk she probably just wants someone to listen to her problems .. this can help and in time if everyone is on good terms with her meaning ur family
    she may start to realize on her own what she has been doing to her family.. guilty is the word and she could change ..
    i dot believe you can force anyone into do anything as your sister sounds very stubborn and will always want to get her way so just let it go what goes around comes around life will teach her the lesson she needs to learn dont feel like u have to fix it because from what i read she has ruined alot of relationships and friends and family its almost broken … she will have to want to make things better u cant force her otherwise..

    solution 2 : if these actions still proceeds after a while and you have no more solutions left .. let her go … don support her financially and just let her be have no contact leave her alone .. this time on her own without help may allow her to reflect more on her life and she may then realize what shes been doing with her life ..

  11. I’ve been having probs with my sissy too ..
    Thank god she’s not alcoholic but she’s making our house a living hell..
    I’ve tried ALL sorts of things with her from talking to punishment nothing worked EXCEPT (beating) her.. Now I know u’ll say whaaat oo no waaay n such n such.. But believe me when a man (father or bro) hits her she’ll walk straight.. At least this will terrify her from doing something restricted..
    Of course not beating like crazy but something moderate..
    The second thing is (prayers) plz tell ur mum oo father to pray for her always, oo u pray too ..
    Hey u readers plz pray too!!
    The third n last which will make ur home rest forever is (get her a husband), a religious guy with a strong personality who will protect her from herself n love her .. that’s it!
    Sincere prayers for her oo my Sis too
    Good luck sweetie 🙂

  12. this is terrible.
    no matter what she says, this is just wrong.
    don’t get me wrong i used to be like her but i knew better than to do some illegal stuff. but then again I AM A TEEN so it doesn’t help.
    she’s not clinically depressed she’s leaning to the clinically insane.
    being paranoid to her parents love to her.
    almost anti-social behavior with her loved ones.
    noone gets drunk for the fuck of it.
    she’s hurt somewhere inside, you just gotta plug in that hole.
    this is crazy.. but join her in her antics.
    let her accept you. then fix her issues. thats my advice.
    i wish you luck dear.

  13. I’m really sorry to hear this, and it seems that you’re a great person yourself. Sweetie, ro7ay tiyadeda w 9aleelich rak3etain w id3ay 7ag ikhtich w3ayltich. Allah mawjood, Allah yabe yisma3 9outich. Allah ga3d yibteleekom 3ashan igarebkom lah, wallah Allah mara7 ekhaleech etha 6alabteeh. What your sister is doing is beyond 7aram. She’s not only drinking (which is bro7a balwa, sorry) she’s also disobeying your parents. 7abeebti, again, I’m really sorry to hear this. According your sister as she said “No i dont, plus everyone does it these days” that doesn’t justify what she’s doing. We both know she wrong so there’s nothing to talk about really, none of us here could help you ghair Allah sub7ana. Tiyadiday, 9allay, o Allah bifarijha enshallah. Allah i9aberkom w yahdeeha enshallah..

  14. to our confessor,
    there is some retarded advice here and i hope u can filter it without me pointing it out. I wouldnt wanna be banned 🙂

  15. Dr.Zhivago

    True loool

  16. ummm a religious husband is not going to help… it’ll just end up with you having a depressed divorced sister… marriage should never be ‘forced’…. i think you should cut her off… no money she cant afford to get gas for the car or afford to buy drinks… thats my personal advice…and im an open minded liberal person thats lived abroad almost all her life… being depressed is no excuse to being reckless and irresponsible… if she cant behave like an adult and be responsible then she doesnt deserve to be in control of her spending… walla cut her off financially and see where that gets you…

  17. i hope this helpss.. try to make a plan with any police officer you know around OR ur friends that know any and they could pretend to arrest her ..and she would wake up and know whats going on i hope thing get better ..try to go out only the both of u she might of had a boyfriend that spoiled her or broke her heart.try speaking to her ..tak kindly..she might let her heart out to you..

  18. I have a friend who had a similar problem with his sister and he exhausted every mean and way to get her back on track but she kept on detriorating and her bad behavior kept on escalating…they tried and tried and tried and one day his sisters approached his father and told him that they’re not only fed up with her but also that many potential grooms refused to propose to them because of their sister’s bad reputation and habits….few weeks later she was found dead in her room in what seemed to be a suicide by overdosing on tylenols….I really believe it was a homicide more then a suicide….but a year later their life couldnt be better and 2 of his sisters got married and his parents now have a peace of mind….yes it was a radical solution but what else is there to do…..

  19. I’d tap that fo’ sho’

    I like ’em feisty, back on topic… well its your parents fault, you dont give a baby a knife to play with and you certainly don’t provide for a crazy 27 year old women luxuries like an allowance and car.

    Just give her food and shelter and that’s it nothing more unless they spoil her and feed her habits.

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