Kuwait's Confession Box

Archive for July, 2010|Monthly archive page

Confession 71 – What Do Guys Want?

In Confessions on July 21, 2010 at 2:04 AM

The sequel to post # 35.

Given the huge response received to post #35, the question of what guys want was raised, and it would be interesting to find out, ladies and gents.

To recap what women want: I should have worded the question differently, what women need, as opposed to want. A need is basic, a necessity, whereas wants are unlimited.
Some want love, some want marriage, some want the baby in the golden carriage!

What about guys? What is it we need from women?

Guys are painted in a bad light in relationships most of the time. Blame the media and stereotypes. Guys are seen as being emotionally distant, uncaring, and focused on only one thing. Read the confessions here, there are plenty. The sins of the few reflect on the many, and the good deeds reflect on the few.

Men do not have tunnel vision, nor one-track-minds.

I dont think men have complicated wants. Theres a joke that goes “women shouldnt undress infront of other women, they’re judgmental, whereas guys are just grateful”, that is the reality of the siutation, minus the undressing ofcourse!

Its hard being a man in this world. In case you havent noticed, men outnumber women here by ALOT. For women, there literally are plenty of fish in the sea, so it feels like walking a tight-rope for guys, one mistake and SPLAT! You’re street pizza.

So is it true that men always have to make the first move? I hope not! We are so desensitized by how the media paints love to be, we play the waiting game on the notion of pride, “he should, she should”, which eventually leads to both tiring and boring and moving on.

So, to resolve this issue, as I said before, ask this simple question to your significant other:

“How would you tell if someone was in love with you?”

This is foolproof, and I speak from experience. If the answer you get is what you have been doing for the person, then know that there is definitely something there. Or, be bold and phrase it as a statement, if I wanted someone to know I love them, I would…

Guys have insecurities; it is not only a girl thing. We tend to second guess ourselves, therefore, just waiting for a guy to do everything, without dropping hints, is intolerable cruelty.

(“a friend” recently met someone, they hit it off really well, lots in common. All of the sudden: poof. Gone. She could be dead for all he knows :/    )

I’m referring of course, to the decent guy. Gals must have an internal criterion for thinning the herd and selecting the decent guy, who is wired to romantically enamor for the long run.

Guys want a woman who is sensitive, yet strong. Flirtatious, yet sincere. Men are geared to be providers, so you must be “in need”.
Guys are sensitive too. It is expected of guys to provide for their significant other, what you may think of bigotry or arrogance, is in fact sincerity & male-chivalry (sometimes it just is bigotry. Again, not the decent guy).

Guy always insists on paying, on doing everything, even if you are capable of doing it yourself, it soothes the primitive gene that tells man “you do all”.

Just as a guy should not pamper a women so as to spoil her, women must not pamper men too much that they would “expect” that as regular treatment e.g. a guy gets gifts for his girl on a weekly basis, for no reason, suddenly stops. Girl asks, why, get me more gifts. Guy has made an act of endearment into a regular chore. Keep it haphazard. And always respond in kind. If a guy has not given you a gift, do not shower them with gifts. Give a little, get a little. Works with fishing; works with people.

Societal stereotypes have typecast men into a monotonous category of unflinching, unyielding dictators, “my way or the highway” mentality. Men are not one-trick ponies. They deal with how society wants them to appear, and how they want to be. What is the impression of “stay-at-home” dad here? Non-existent, hop over to the west, its common-place.

Men want women that can think for themselves, and at the same time know when not to question. Again, society, male ego, it is not a matter of dominance. Science has shown that men think with their minds, women think with their emotions.

What do I want? Simple, Justin Bieber (gag!) sang it best: I just want somebody to love.

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Confession 70 – Rejection

In Confessions on July 20, 2010 at 2:02 AM

i am not kuwaiti but i must confess, so here it goes. this is my past.
my life is shit… i feel sad and depressed, all the people who i care for in my life keep rejecting me.
-my parents reject me because i want to choose my own path
-the only girl i ever loved in my life rejected me
-my best friend of many years rejected me
so on and so forth… now i am stuck to befriending people who use me, i hate it, but i am very desperate and i have a week personality so i went down this shitty road because otherwise i would have no one, isn’t it better to have something rather than nothing.
i have to admit i act stupid to get attention from the people around me because that is the only thing i have to offer and that is the reason they all rejected me. so as the years past i grew weaker and weaker personality wise, i have no friend and no one to talk to. Now i am a 31 year old man with no relationship of any sort except my mother, i allow her to grab me by the testicles only because she gives me attention that i want yet not deserve, and i am so desperate that i even like it…
and another attribute to my failure is that i always run away from every problem that comes my path, i act like a child.
now as i see people around me living great lives with great loves and jobs with adventurous lives, i regret the decisions i made in my path… now after work i go back home to my mother and after she feeds me and bathe me (not kidding, she scrubs me butt naked) i go to an empty bed at an early hour because she doeskin allow me to stay up, once i stayed up and she actually thought i was possessed. this is my life. even though i see my self pissing my life away, i kinda like it and dont want to really change because no matter what happens i know that i can turn to the only relationship in my life, my mother.

I have two questions one for the guys one for the girls and be brutally honest

guys: do you think i am a man
girls: would you marry a person like me

Confession 69 – Family Family Family

In Confessions on July 18, 2010 at 1:21 PM

This is not my deepest darkest secret. Ive already posted my deepest secret earlier and I was really happy with the replies, that why I decided Id share this problem, since Im in dire need of advice (and honestly have seen the best advice ever to many of the issues),
Here it goes:

I love my family to bits, and know I couldnt have asked for better parents, il7amdilla!! My sister was supposedly diagnosed and medicated for depression when she was in uni in the UK. She finished uni and came back to Kuwait claiming she was still depressed because of the suppressed lifestyle of Kuwait. My parents explained to her that they would not accept her coming back every night at 2am, and explained the whole sim3a, bla bla concept to her. Eventually she started coming home drunk. Ofcourse my parents werent happy and approached it by asking her why shes doing this. After blatantly denying it, she said it was her life and they never loved her anyway and literally went 20 years back comparing how they loved the rest of their kids more than her with the SILLIEST examples.
By now she had a curfew set, because her drunken nights were always late night outings. Ofcourse since Kuwait is very small, word got back to all of us on the SHIT shes been saying.. and it wasnt just gossip, it was people asking us if what our parents were doing to her was true. She had been blowing things up and literally telling everyone she meets how her parents are the devils, basically. Let me mention that my sister is insaaanely popular and many people either adore her or wish her dead. I wish it was only talking shit that was the problem.. but I have not met one person she has spoken to that doesnt believe her (on how my parents are devils).
Next step, curfew didnt help cuz she just got drunk anyway. Next, drunk driving eventually go her into drunken car accidents and 7AMDILLA no one ever got hurt.. Literally dozens of speeding tickets. She was grounded, car suspended but only for a while… my parents couldnt ground her at home forever so soon after she got out I think she started getting high on recreational drugs.

Weve obviously tried speaking to her, but my theory is shes just so selfish and disrespectful that nothing is important to her except for her. Flana, dont u care about your health: Everyone drinks. Flana, dont you care about your sim3a and the familys sim3a: No i dont, plus everyone does it these days. Flana, dont u understand that this is ripping our parents into shreads: I dont care they never loved me anyways.
We moved onto the psychologist, but he only tried to “fix problems between mom and sis” where my mom felt that since she was the discipliner in the family that didnt make her a problem! That didnt work.
Did i forget to mention that shes unemployed for several years now and shes 27! This is far beyond stressing my family… my parents are mentally and physically exhausted after years and years of trying to figure out a way to help her. Us kids at home, try to sleep every night either trying to figure out a solution or thinking of killing her because of the way shes treating our parents and cuz of the stuff shes going around telling all of kuwait.

I feel like weve exhausted all of our solutions. I know for a fact that she will not stop drinking/5arb6ing even if she is cured of her so-called depression because she wants alcohol to be a part of her life, which many people do. Other than the fact that its 7aram/unhealthy/fucking ILLEGAL, she is not being smart about it! The least u could do is not drive!!
I mean the way I see it is shes acting like a teenager. My parents dont love me. Im depressed. I will rebel. What do u do with that teenager after u talk it out and it doesnt work.. You hope that this phase will pass.. Except with my non-teenage sister this “phase” has been close to a decade.

Please help!!

Confession 68 – Lost It

In Confessions on July 18, 2010 at 12:53 PM

Have u ever walked to hell with ur own feet?
I have..
I knew that night will change my life and it really did.. Only, to the worse!!
Well I study in the USA and I prefer not to say where exactly..
I was in a long serious relationship with a guy that dumped me because of what he heard about me and couldn’t get over him..
A very cute young very important prince met me and was interested and becoming friends we got very close and it turned out we have many mutual friends..
I fell so quickly maybe because I needed someone or because he showed me respect – not until he kept trying to put down egool ento second class o mn hatha el 7achy..
Ana ma3roofa eb jamali (I’m not showing off or anything) bas I was never single for more than a week dayman a7ad yabeeni bas ana chalba ma3ahum.. karma made the love of my life dump me 🙂
well.. ana r7t ma3 el sha59 el muhim o 6alab ena ntgabal fi ma7al 5a9 and guess what?
he took away my virginity I tried to run away bas ma gedart and he has a video of me.. now whenever I refuse having sex he blackmails me about the video..
teqadamly wa7ed wayed zeen men a7san 3awayel al q8 bas I’m thinking of saying no la2ni 7adi 5ayfa..
No one know’s I am not a virgin and … worse!!
This is my biggest secret I can’t tel anyone.. and it feels so good letting it out..