Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 64 – Everything Changed

In Confessions on June 18, 2010 at 9:05 AM

Let’s get things straight..

I have a beautifully understanding family “thanks god” my parents got married by love yet they still love each other so deeply, it’s what I always see them together chit chat and laughter and whatever … It makes me happy and I fully grateful that I have peaceful loving parents I mean they don’t just love their children but themselves and love ones which made me feel more lucky and go on easily with my life.

But

What I have been through…. was so rough and hurtful …. never success-ed, nothing new neither worked out…

They say I’m heartless, but I’m too young to stay stable with kind of love whatever you call, you may say I love you I may not, I may feel it, you may not, at the end we both are denials, I have hoped and worn my mother’s wedding dress that someday I’ll wear this with flowers wrapped around my hands, someday I will make my husband happy and myself, have beautiful three children and live in a big happy home….

after four years everything changed…

that hope and dreams just damaged after how hurtful and heart broken I was and how many marriage are fails, I know it depends on couples but I’m too scared of placing myself in their shoes, I don’t want to look at myself in the mirror with tears and ask why me me me me? it happened to me several times and I don’t want that to happen all over again.

though I sometimes have those dreams..yet… I stopped and think of something else like traveling, working hard, getting a business, adoption and just do simple and good things.

Though I’m a very loving and delicate person “if you really wanna know how my character is like”

I’m fine to where I belong but praying to god that would show me what love really is…

Ps: I’m 22 years old, it’s not that secret but just wanna let out my feelings and get your opinions if my decision is right or not?

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  1. dear confessor,

    as u can tell by the name, i know a thing or two about matters of the heart. and let me tell you, what you feel is perfectly natural.

    every person has a different ability to express love. some say, some do, some wait until they are sure, some say it all the time, just like there are many people in the world, there are that many ways to express love.

    with everything you have said, i highly doubt you are heartless, i believe you have been through heart-ache that left you overly cautious. its a natural defence mechanism. like a hedgehog unfurls its spikes to protect itself from predators.

    one day, you will find that love for which you will throw caution to the wind, and when that day comes, you will don your mothers wedding dress, with flowers in your hand, and be the belle of the ball.

    you know what they say, good things come to those who wait. all your past tribulations have helped you figure out what you do not want in life, you will find what you do want in life, or he will find you.

    till that time dear confessor, know that your thoughts are normal, everyone has them (dare i say even guys), they creep up on you @ night when you least expect it, what am i doing, where am i going, what will happen, will i ever find that special someone.

    so smile ; D

  2. Agreed with HR .

  3. …. Get over your self.
    While your at it, learn some proper English.
    I’d post this at engrish.com but I won’t. I’m kind of respectable that way.
    And how is this a confession or an act of asking for help? Or was this supposed to be a catholic type confession?
    *sigh*

  4. Hopeless Romantic:
    Thank you I guess you’re right it’s normal thing , you really make me smile with your comment I appreciate that.

    Zenoverlord:

    Not So over Lord, Zen.
    so You’re here to mock me? Well I don’t feel bad if I write down with my bad English or lets just say I type fast without reading , messed up ! and thanks for wasting your time with reading my post 😉 Have fun.

    • Pick a language and master it.

      And, if I understand correctly… You are basicly afraid of something. You haven’t done anything… Your just afraid and crying for attention.

      What you need to do is get over your self. Get over your irrational fear and over your helplessness.

      Only then will you be able to become a person who is strong and wise. Only then will you truely be able to love and be loved in a mature sense.

      As for now, get over your self.

      • when did this turn into english class? coz btw, u misspelt truly, and basically. shes saying she has self-doubt, i dont think the answer to her woes is your paraphrasing of “suck it up”.

        we all have irrational fears Zen, dont be so judgmental.

  5. some peeps just be cruel,
    wheres JD When u need him?

  6. ZenOverlord:
    this is a confession thingy, you shouldn’t just think at first of posting someone’s secret or whatever to any site !! that’s rude and It’s good that you changed your mind but again never think about it ok.

  7. reasons people are getting divorced is GETTING married coz everyone is doin it…stop looking at other people..you are not them..you are you…its not the end of the world if u don’t get married..would u rather get married to a wrong person and then have a kid and then get divorced..or stay single and not go through all that…if ur having doubts then ur not ready..stop living up to our societies standards…live up to ur own standards..

  8. @ Truth: ppl are getting divorced bcoz they lack responsibility. most ppl i know that do get divorced are immature and think marriage is like dating… you can just break up and leave..
    this is wether it was arranged or a luv story, ppl just think its ok to get up and leave without consideration to anyone but themselves. ppl think their lives are a soap opera. life is tough and so is marriage thats why we need to learn to comprimise, sadly thats our society

  9. @Visnotup
    anytime 🙂

    @Zhivago
    i agree. the term dating does not exist in this culture, we have dating with strings attached, i.e engagement. people are one thing when engaged, and a whole other when married (watch that egyptian movie with the singer, i havent but ive heard about it) granted, they will never allow un-married couples to live together, but dating is different than engagement! when ur dating, ur tryin to impress the other person, when engaged, ur tryin to impress their parents.

  10. @HR

    so the jist is, we need speed dating in Kuwait.

    maybe u 2 should get 2gether ; P

  11. STOP!! pushing ur self to guys!!he’ll come someday!

  12. Stop thinking about urself..think about ur siblings..the ppl u love and care about them and listen 2 them..and i know u

  13. PS: Stop crying!

  14. Hi
    It’s normal to have fears , but it’s not ok to hide and not to take risks. Life is about risks and making mistakes. And that’s how we enjoy it and love it.
    You are very young u r at the bigining not the end and u already chose the safe way ( as u think it is ) which I call the dull tasteless life.
    I believe that life always has some thing good for us but waiting for the right time.

    Mybe u need to be more possitive about ur future and go with the flow and dea with things as they come to u and don’t plan the unknown

  15. Zenoverlord:
    what’s wrong with you? :/ why are you like that with me? if you could only see how our society is like and how our men become, your comment is not working, it does not make my mood so well nor changing mind,Haven’t done anything? so If I was in love, doesn’t mean sounds like marriage?I mean I know marriage that couple has to stay together in one place but dating is different that we live separate but we keep in touch and share our thoughts, love and care and so marriage is, so you tell me I’m crying for attention, wow dude you’re way too rough ;/ I will be truly wise,strong,loved and matured if a person comments/advice in a matured, positive and not being judgmental 🙂 so anyway thank you again.

    Truth:
    I don’t know but I might try, thanks.

    Dr. Zhivago:

    YOU GOT MY POINT, marriage is not easy at all, it has too much responsibilities that needs love,care, support, sharing 50%/50% which I rarely find it here.

    Mako:
    no I don’t know you.

    Laloona:
    HI,
    I’ll try,thank you so much Laloona:)

  16. Am writing again because am very touched with the topic I have been there I was so much like u. And because of my fears I made a wrong desicion for my mariage . I wanted to get over with my social obligation . My bad luck the man was horrible I had to leave him and so thought everybody and supports me . After my divorce I loved life more as I learned so much from my mistakes and realized that marriage is lovely if u chose right . I started being very picky with my choices and very soon am getting married to some one I have been inlove with for some time now. And guess what I was more afraid of marriage before my first marriage not after the divorce.
    Now I love everything about life including counting the day to be married to my love.

    So maybe ur fear will go if u meet a man who can make u feel secure and eventualy forget ur fears because ur love is stronger

    Don’t make future decisions yet go with the flow as I said earlier and things will happen to u don’t look for them or plan them . Just try to enjoy the moment because a human being have the tendency to look back or forrward never enjoy the moment and there and then we loose

    Regards

  17. wow , you really moved me with your comment, I’m sorry about what happened but I’m so happy that you moved on and got what you looking for eventually 🙂 thank you soo much for you comment, as I’am, I like to take advice and guidance from someone who had experiences so I really appreciate Laloona wish you the best of luck for your next marriage and happiness ameen:) takecare dear,

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