Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 59 – Never Thought

In Confessions on June 3, 2010 at 11:18 AM

Up until high school I never thought of boys or relationships. I only had those silly crushes from time to time.
I went on to go to college in London.. A friend of mine asked me out and I told him I wasn’t interested. My best friends pushed me to go for it and after months, I told him I think I liked him. The relationship escalated physically very quickly and in a nutshell I eventually lost my virginity.

I regret it. It’s on my mind for years. I worry the day I get married my husband may confront means if I lie I’ll be living a lie and if I tell the truth I may lose a major relationship or not have a Kuwaiti man ever trust me.

I’m hoping time will heal me.. But I worry that 1 relationship has made me crave for more, especially now that I live abroad again.. And in a relationship I will crave physical companionship that will lead to sex.

I know that this post is nothing compared to the others, although there are more shittier details.. But that’s my secret. Help

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  1. the moral of all these stories is, the majority of q80s are extremely weak, the minute we set foot outside q8, we lose our morals and identity, follow the trend of booze and sex.

    how very sad.

    help? all you are doing is dodging blame, i went to london, my friends pressured me, etc. etc.

    so you forget your culture, but you dont want to forget that you must marry a q80 man? let me guess, hes going to be your cousin.

    what a selective memory you have.

    your penance is between you and yourself. i suggest opting for equestrian training, or revirginisation.

    maybe next time you can just remember who you are and where you come from.

  2. This is 2010, not the 1700s. 90% of all who get married are either not a virgin or their partner is not a virgin. You definitley can’t get married the “kuwaiti way” and instead need to date a guy and at the right time tell him about it. If the guy is not an “egadey,” he’ll probably understand.

    You’re going to crave physical companionship in a relationship because that is a natural trait that all living beings have. As for me, as long as you both feel love towards one another then you are doing nothing wrong. Have fun while you’re young!

    Don’t regret your past decisions and instead accept them or they will haunt your for the rest of your life. You were young, you were curious, and you tried it. Most of us have been there and done that too.. and it’s just part of human life.

  3. its okay , u were naive and stupid , and lets face it , 75% of high school girls arent virgins ,and the same goes on collage girls ,so its okay , btw , i agree with any1

  4. I recommend you to forget what you did in the past and live your present. You need to think it through and accept the fact that you did what you did. You’re not the first and not the last to do such a thing and no matter what life always goes on. Remember, every new day is another chance to change your life. Yes, the past can hurt but the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it. So, learn from your mistake and promise yourself that you’ll never do it again. Hopefully, with prayer God will forgive you.
    And remember just because someone messes up once doesn’t mean that within time they can’t find a way to change for the better. If you could go through high school without having any relationships, then I put my whole faith in you that you could do it again. Also, remember these words, with deep prayers, commitment, and determination of not commiting such a mistake again, God will always be by your side easing things up for you. Hope this helps and i know that studying abroad opens more doors of the devils plan but stick to what you beleive is right and decide which path you want to take.

  5. No Virginity = Bye bye birdie 😛

    Well maybe some guys would not bother .. as they said it’s 2010 😀

  6. WTH? 2010 so the hell with virginity? what kind of logic is that!
    I am not commenting on the post, Allah yhadeech enshalah oo yaster 3alaich.. this is a reply to some of the commnts :/ 3gaidy cuz he minds that his wife isnt a virgin! for a moment you lost me right there!
    Some ppl here keep surprising me for real!

  7. So i’m a 3geedy if I care less whether my life partner, the future mother of my children, and the person I have saved my self for is a virgin?!????

    aahahhahahahhaha this is the best comment ever

  8. again; its amazing she is so quick to give away her virginity, yet thinks twice about the kuwaiti man she will marry.

    you forget your religion, yet you remember your culture.

    no wonder you are all doomed. i love this new generation that thinks its ok to break the word of god, for the sake of “having fun”.

    you are all hopeless.

  9. HAHA!! F I SOOOOO AGREE!

  10. I agree with F. A husband that would NOT be understanding about his woman losing her virginity to a guy other than him is “normal” not an “egadey.” And about the percentages… 75% of high school girls.. and 90% of married couples? Come on! I know that we aren’t perfect and we see a lot of screwed up people out there, but still that’s too much.
    It is 2010 and there are still some wonderful men and women out there!
    &aboout ur post, I really just dont know what to say. but u will have to confront ur partner because believe me, guys will know:)

  11. Let’s face it, mara7 tetzawjain wa7id mat3arfena.
    Confront him before it gets too serious

    you’ll be fine.

    Etha manefa3.. Surgeory Bata bim bata boom

  12. more like “from what i experienced”

  13. Schitzo: ammm…surgery will not make the hymen re-apear..it tightens only…plus ur not “loose” if u have sex once or 100 times or 10000 times…SERIOUSLY if uve never had sex THEN don’t give advice!
    I kinda agree with haaala, but they will notice if they had multiple sexual experience in the past or if the man had sex with virgin then he would know if someone was not a virgin..
    u did a mistake and stop having sex! do u wanna be pregnant with a bastard child?i hope not..u cant undo what u did..but u can make better choices next time

  14. Virginty is the utter most important thing a girl has to guard that’s what I believe. But u experimented and now u have this issue, seriously be honest with ur soon to be husband and then hope for the best. And good luck !

  15. Ppl make mistakes, seek for God forgivness & he will help you, you don’t know how or when but he will help you.

  16. -big sigh- Yani, it’s your choice to be ignorant people. I say research and try to look at facts. Don’t lie to yourselves “oh every girl who is Kuwaiti is goody two shoes nice virgin never did anything bad in their lives tee hee.” A bunch of girls in today’s age are really bad (which is a direct reaction to the stern Kuwaiti/Muslim upbringing), and when they’re done being bad they just go to Egypt and get themselves “re-virginated” for 10KD. I’d say look it up on google but guess what! Kuwait blocks all websites about it. Gee, I wonder why?!

  17. What are you yelling at me for ?
    I didn’t mention the word “loose” and I wasn’t
    talking about that kinda surgeory

    read “any1″s post and you’ll get it.

    Rude much

  18. thats really scary i cant belaive the ppl here are u all kuwait”s ???? WHAT THE HELL
    hello i cant comment on the orignal poster my comment on the replay
    im a mother of a young grl and to read that ( 75% of high school girls arent virgins ,and the same goes on collage girls ) is really scary what world are u living in ??

  19. Strange how it is always young women talking about loosing their virginity, never men? If it was physically possible to detect male virginity would this even be an issue?

    Practice, in all things we do, makes perfect. Relationships that precede marriage allow you to figure out what it is you should truly look for in a man or woman. By having had a relationship already has taken you one step closer to understanding what type of a man you would eventually like to form a more lasting relationship with, be this only for friendship or even marriage.

    • apparently, yes. Some far-eastern lady-doctor recently acquitted two guys charged with rape sayin they are virgins because they had some “red dot near their ear”.

      look it up! its crazy!

  20. a Reply to “Truth”

    Who said that it makes no difference how many times u had sex??
    I guess ur the one who doesn’t have experience at all 🙂
    Yes it makes a difference!! And timing makes another huge difference.
    Abstaining from sex for a period of time helps tighten it. But frequent sex doesn’t make u very loose but makes a difference then when a virgin. It will be easier for the guy to enter her unlike virgins!
    So stop saying wrong facts to the girl. As a virgin the man needs effort to enter but after multiple times it is much easier with no problem. SO YES he may notice especially if he is an expert.

    But if a girl is good in acting she can manipulate him. There are ways and u may be lucky and it can go unnoticed.

    My advice: abstain from sex completely!! STOP STOP STOP. with time it will get tighter. Pray Pray Pray ! yes praying is good, ask god ena yster 3leech and forgive u and that u marry an understanding guy.

  21. okay this isn’t really helping her situation here. shall we stick to the main topic and person who’s actually going through an overly paranoid sub conscience?!

    Okay. if you had sex once.. you should be fine, you should still be ‘tight’ and (a lot of girls have a naturally wide vagina virgin or not.. keep that in mind if that guy you slept with .. was .. huge.)
    if your not comfortable with having sex, then just don’t do it anymore. no one needs to know, or will know. If you end up with some dick head waiting to see that stain on the sheets, well then first of all you chose the wrong guy, and second, since you can’t go back from that (marriage i mean) … you could just say something like .. you fell off a horse, or something before (this would break your hymen) or even say you were always on bikes a lot as a kid.

    And if your psychotically still over paranoid, then you should just go have that surgery done, many people do it. ( even though i really think that’s extreme) or you could just go out and buy that cream stuff that makes women ‘tight’. (‘virgin again’ i think it was called?)
    Sorry for the extra vulgar choice of terms, but i guess those are your options.

    The whole pray to god for forgiveness thing, is simply to clear what you feel and your sub conscience, but that’s not the way to go if you wanna end up ‘tighter.’ (sorry about that term.. again)
    Good luck! =)

    oh and by the way. Don’t tell your ‘husband’ about this. really, do you think he would be okay with this? No. so spare yourself the drama. 🙂

    bonne chance darling.

  22. speaking from the experiences of a very close friend, i suggest..

    1. stop.
    2. pray.
    3. ask your family for help.
    4. when you meet mr. right, tell him.
    5. life goes on.

    thats what my friend did, and she’s happily married.

    #3 can be omitted, personally i think it’s important, but only if you have understanding family and parents.

    and about #4, who ever you end up marrying has to know the truth.
    starting your ‘new life’ with someone who thinks you are someone that you are not is plain wrong.

    *PLUS*

    if you decide to operate and lie to your husband.. remember that karma is a bitch..

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