Kuwait's Confession Box

Archive for June, 2010|Monthly archive page

Confession 67 – Harrased By Karma

In Confessions on June 28, 2010 at 1:12 PM

Its a very long and complicated story but heres the bulk of it. I don’t need advice, I just want to let it out and show how “eldinya dawara”

I was just a 16 year old girl in a private school, who has longed to be in a relationship with someone. After a few years of waiting for ‘FATE’ to find me the perfect match, I knew I couldnt rely on it anymore. So I decided to ‘PUT MYSELF OUT THERE’, and on that same day a new girl transfered to our school. Rumors were spreading about her and her many ‘guy friends’. No one wanted to befriend her because of this rumor, well no one except me (and not for the right reasons of course).

After a month or two of being extra friendly with her, she decided to invite me over, informing me that she was going to have a bunch of old friends over and that she thinks I would get a long well with them.

I jumped at the oppurtunity, no questions asked. Finally, some excitement to my boring old life. So I put my shortest skirt, and my tightest top, with my hair down and a little make up. I was ready to ruin my life (if thats what it took to find me someone I can love and end the boring routine I have been living for so long).

When I got there, the “bunch of old friends” turned out to be just two guys. One of which was introduced to be her boyfriend, and the other completely single and available.

Being the messed up girl I was, instead of falling for the “single available guy” I fell for her boyfriend. He was everything I looked for in a guy, he had a dark twisted type of humour, completely and utterly hot with his dark hair and delicious body, and a kind eyes.

After sneaking around with her boyfriend behind her back for several months, she caught us. She dumped him of course, and threatened to expose me and all my doings (like I said this is just the tip of the ice berg, I haven’t mentioned all the “bad” things I did). I decided that it was best to transfer out of my school the next year for this reason and because of my grades which were dropping heavily.

By the time it was ‘next year’, as much as I tried not to reveal the school I was transferring to, the rumors had already reached my new school and no one wanted to befriend me bacause of these rumors.. well no one except one girl. The same girl who later on stole the boyfriend I had risked my reputation for.

So girls, just before you decide to be all bitchy like I was and decide to steal someones boyfriend. Remember, Karma is a bitch 😉

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Confession 66 – Traditional Kuwaiti Family

In Confessions on June 26, 2010 at 5:29 PM

When you live among a typical Kuwaiti family,or traditional as what most people refer to this is what you get:
For  years you struggle to get a phone,you can’t hang out with your friends in malls or whatsoever without an adult,your brother turns your life upside down where ur father backs and claims he is too busy with work and a mother that isn’t close to you!A sister who is already busy with work and her own family.And also the words of a brother that change ur parents minds and removes you from private school and makes you go to a shorty goverment school.Now you will think that I hate my family slot but I don’t!!!!I still can’t live without them!But it’s the way they think is what I hate!And it’s what making me doing the stuff I’m nit suppose to do.From sneaking out,to telling lies and doing the other phorbidden stuff.Sorry family for what I have done,it’s not from me!It’s from you!!

Confession 65 – *REMOVED BY AUTHOR*

In Confessions on June 26, 2010 at 5:28 PM

*REMOVED BY AUTHOR*

Confession 64 – Everything Changed

In Confessions on June 18, 2010 at 9:05 AM

Let’s get things straight..

I have a beautifully understanding family “thanks god” my parents got married by love yet they still love each other so deeply, it’s what I always see them together chit chat and laughter and whatever … It makes me happy and I fully grateful that I have peaceful loving parents I mean they don’t just love their children but themselves and love ones which made me feel more lucky and go on easily with my life.

But

What I have been through…. was so rough and hurtful …. never success-ed, nothing new neither worked out…

They say I’m heartless, but I’m too young to stay stable with kind of love whatever you call, you may say I love you I may not, I may feel it, you may not, at the end we both are denials, I have hoped and worn my mother’s wedding dress that someday I’ll wear this with flowers wrapped around my hands, someday I will make my husband happy and myself, have beautiful three children and live in a big happy home….

after four years everything changed…

that hope and dreams just damaged after how hurtful and heart broken I was and how many marriage are fails, I know it depends on couples but I’m too scared of placing myself in their shoes, I don’t want to look at myself in the mirror with tears and ask why me me me me? it happened to me several times and I don’t want that to happen all over again.

though I sometimes have those dreams..yet… I stopped and think of something else like traveling, working hard, getting a business, adoption and just do simple and good things.

Though I’m a very loving and delicate person “if you really wanna know how my character is like”

I’m fine to where I belong but praying to god that would show me what love really is…

Ps: I’m 22 years old, it’s not that secret but just wanna let out my feelings and get your opinions if my decision is right or not?

Confession 63 – Stupid Mistake

In Confessions on June 12, 2010 at 12:12 PM

I’m a 21 year old Kuwaiti girl who was stupid enough to start a relationship with her friend (who’s a girl as well), for the sake of simplicity lets call her shahad. I never though of myself as a person with an orientation because I was sexually abused as a child, but I was stupid enough to think that I loved shahad enough to want this. After a long relationship I told her that I’m ready and she believed me when she shouldn’t have. we made out a couple of times but then I knew that I cant keep on doing this because sexual drama was taking over the innocent loving relationship that we used to have and that made me very scared, so one day I sent her a txt telling her that I cant do this anymore and I just pushed her away.

She got married after that, and what hurts the most is that we go to the same college and I constantly see her! I want to be around her and I believe that she does too, but this is putting me through hell! She keeps talking about her husband and her life and I curse myself because now I cant be part of that life. I cant take listening to her talking about him, I cant watch her move on, but I know that what I did was the right thing to do, I know that I couldn’t have made her happy, and I want her to be happy for really hard. I’m glad that I will be graduating soon and hopefully won’t get to hear of her again! It’s not because I hate her, on the contrary, it’s because I love her so much and cant trust myself to act civil around her! I wish u the best in life 7ayatee, and I’m so sorry for hurting you!

Confession 62 – A Secret Act

In Confessions on June 10, 2010 at 10:45 AM

Im not from Kuwait, Im from Dubai, but i really need to confess.

Here it goes.

I’m doing something against my religion, and its masterbating.

I discovered it while watching a porn video ( dont judge me, i was just watching it because i wanted to learn, and yes our school doesnt teach us about reproduction), and I was suprised when i saw that the girl in the video was touching herself !! So i thought why not try ? i was 11 years old and i already hit puberty at that age. So i started doing it ever since, and now im 16. I used to promise myself i’d stop it but i just dont.

Please dont judge me, im not a sexual addict or a pervert or something like that.
i hate to be one ! and i am NOT ONE !
The feeling used to set me free, but i really really wanted to stop
i hated it, and everytime im done, i regret doing it in the first place
From five years straight, and im having this problem
i cant talk about it with anyone
i always blame it on my hormones, bas like, cant i stop my hands ?
but this year, i reduced masterbating A L O T
im scared that my husband wouldnt want me because i touched myself.
and what i want to know is that are there girls like me struggling with the same problem, or are they ok with it ?
a9lan i dont know wether its 7allal or 7aram, but i’ve read about it and it says its 7allal/7arram, so im confused. I dont want to unplease Allah in any way, and i dont want to get sins just because of this.
el 7amdellah, now i can stop myself, and i feel so much more better.
inshallah i never have to touch myself again.

Confession 61 – *REMOVED BY AUTHOR*

In Confessions on June 7, 2010 at 10:04 AM

*REMOVED BY AUTHOR*

Confession 60 – Beach House

In Confessions on June 5, 2010 at 11:39 AM

Every weekend my friends and I gather at the beach houses in Bnaider, we hang out at the tent or balcony until sunrise. All of us but one, “X” always “sleeps” early. She gets up tell says “Ta3bana, I’m off to bed” I believed her the first couple of times, but one day I got suspicious. She glanced at her cell phone, then got up to “snooze”. I decided to atlaygaf and go to the washroom close to her bedroom. I heard a squeak coming from the window side. Walked back out the balcony and on my way i see her coming down the ladder. At that moment I hid behind a wall. Clearly, she was sneaking out. But to who? I saw a “Black GMC” parked at the drive way. It kind of looked like “7amoods” although I didnt expect it at all. When she opened the door to get in, I realized she was going out with my ex bf. We just recently broke up 2 weeks ago. I kept quiet, and now it’s been 2 months 3ala hal 7ala and she didn’t bring it up at all. Although she was the girl who warned me about how he plays around and stuff. I feel sorry for my hypocrite friend although I do not want to open the subject to her because I don’t want any drama to go on.

Confession 59 – Never Thought

In Confessions on June 3, 2010 at 11:18 AM

Up until high school I never thought of boys or relationships. I only had those silly crushes from time to time.
I went on to go to college in London.. A friend of mine asked me out and I told him I wasn’t interested. My best friends pushed me to go for it and after months, I told him I think I liked him. The relationship escalated physically very quickly and in a nutshell I eventually lost my virginity.

I regret it. It’s on my mind for years. I worry the day I get married my husband may confront means if I lie I’ll be living a lie and if I tell the truth I may lose a major relationship or not have a Kuwaiti man ever trust me.

I’m hoping time will heal me.. But I worry that 1 relationship has made me crave for more, especially now that I live abroad again.. And in a relationship I will crave physical companionship that will lead to sex.

I know that this post is nothing compared to the others, although there are more shittier details.. But that’s my secret. Help