Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 58 – Contemplating

In Confessions on May 31, 2010 at 10:53 PM

I’ve began reading the confessions here for a while now, and had a feeling that I’d end up posting something too.
So here I am, exposing it all.  I’d just like to warn you, this is going to be quite long.

About 2 months ago the family and I were all at my grandfathers house. Having our regular gathering. Until my mother decides to go out, leaving her old phone (yes, she has more than one phone) with my younger sister and I. We have been contemplating about the fact if she is cheating on my dad or not. So we decided to go through her text messages, since we ALWAYS see her texting. As expected, we found texts with a guy, actually numerous guys. Saying where she’d meet them and all that sorts of things. At that time my cousin was with us, she found out with us. But what I was surprised of finding out was, that my cousin, younger sister and I all saw it coming. For over a year now.
As my sister and I began to think if we’d ever recognized someone more than twice or three times, turns out she had been seeing them when going out with us!

For example; once we were at The Sultan Center, mom went to the 2nd floor, and a guy followed her there. To my surprise, she came from the floor under the 1st floor, with the guy behind her. During that time my sister and I were at the 1st floor waiting for her. A week later, the day before we saw the texts, we saw him again, at Caribou Coffee. The following day we saw a text to a guy saying that they should meet there. She was also giving flirty looks. Convinced?

Well, a week later we went out. The four of us, my mother, cousin, sister and I. She was also meeting with a guy there. When my sister found out that she was seeing a guy, with us, she burst into tears. Right there, at the middle of the restaurant. But she held it together, no one noticed. She was sick and tired of this, so was I. As I took her to the bathroom, I cried too. The week after that the same thing happened. Except it was 2 guys. Also, we were with my dad. I was in complete and utter shock. How dare she? I honestly don’t give a damn shit about her or her stupid boyfriends. She can do whatever the fuck she wants, but how dare you do it infront of your husband and daughters? From where did you get the nerve?
Anyways, from that day on I have been treating her quite badly I have to admit. The day of a big event came along and I was excited. But, my father refused to take me unless I talked to my mother and apologized, since he noticed my bad behavior. So I went, and talked to her. I told her everything. How we even have evidence. She denied and as they say “raga3at”. Does she really think I am that stupid? Do I look stupid? You should have seen her. Not even a tear in her eyes as I was crying my eyes out. And the problem is, is that she was smiling when my father was there at the end and asked me to apologize. I can still picture her face, that smile. Ugh how I wanted to just….ugh! After that day she stopped (I think!) for about 2 weeks. And the cycle began again. Turns out she’s going international! 🙂 Dating guys from several countries around the GCC. How magnificent. Yet again, water works in malls have began again. My sister is fed up and so am I. I don’t give a damn, I’m just worried about my younger brothers and sisters and if my father ever finds out.

As I said, we are fed up. Even after confronting her she still continues? I would at least recommend her to stop dating infront of us! A 14-year-old girl isn’t an ignorant fool! I am well capable of using my eyes and can see what you are doing!

I just don’t know what to do. Maybe she should be here confessing to this. Well anways, it’s out of my hands I guess. I can’t do anything about what’s going on. I really am confused. Help?

  1. Talk to your dad about it. The marriage is over spiritually but now it needs to end legally.

  2. tell your dad ….

  3. OMG,,, i think you should talk to someone older like your aunt *her sister*
    or grandmother.
    and hey do you REALLY thinks that your dad doesn’t know?

  4. this depends on your relationship with your mom prior to all this, how was it? would you define it as regular, close, strained etc?

    apparently, your dad is well aware of your mom’s extracurricular acts; hence forcing you to apologise.

    what you need to understand is your mom is a person to; she has needs and wants. however, she has an obligation to you as well. if she is neglecting you, as in spending her whole time just canoodling with others, then you should confront both her and your dad about this.

    i do not believe she is foolish enough to leave her phone with you, with those msgs, without knowledge. she knows you know.

    if you have aunts, i suggest you try them.

  5. is ur dad and mom related? like cousins?


    Guys..your actually asking her to end a marriage that lasted for over 14 years..how can u do that!!

    7abeebty I think you should stay out of it..it’s between your mom and dad..They’ll sort out these things on their own without your or your sister/cousin’s help

    • im sorry haaala ending the marriage might not be smart but this became her bizniz when they put their dirty laundry on blast.

    • her mom is literally dating over 3 different guys and expanding her boarders to the GCC now.. i don’t think it was a 14 year marriage, just like how she cheated on her husband, she was probably with someone else when her soon to be husband showed up.

      but thank you confessor for proving woman are as bad as men when it comes to cheating, somehow they think their immune, and you broke the chain.

  7. basically what you need is an EVENT that draws your parents attention to this BIG issue. what i fear is that both your parents are having affairs and gave the green light to each other. i concluded this bcoz your dad didnt try to find out why you’re mad at your mother thus knowing whats up.

    when i said event i mean something big yet smart, meaning dont starve yourself or overdose on pills or anything that might harm you or your siblings…

    another thing is you dont want to cause them a big scene bcoz they will forget what ur doing this for and just be pissed at you!

    personally what i’d go for is just getting all the evid. you have and keep rubbing it in her face.. make it obvious to both your parents that you have a perfect picture of whats going on…
    and something that always gets my attention is NAGGING!!!
    NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG day in day out till its not worth doing what they’re doin… we’re in K-town so you wouldnt have to worry about them giving you up for adoption 😛

    i am very sorry to hear about your problem and i cant imagine myself being in your shoes…

    P.S. this is a perfect example of the side-effects of importing “freedom & women’s rights”.. this is the fine writing on the bottom that you never read…

    like they say Islam is the way…

  8. one more thing…. i am 100% against ending your parents marriage for you and your siblings sake!

  9. I kinda agree with the doc here , u dont wanna bring any troubles or harm on ur sisters and bros , instead of treating ur mom badly , just ignore her , i mean , you’ll soon be 18( in 4 years but whatever) and before u know it , ur outta the house , away from the drama ( i hope ).
    But , if u do decide to tell ur dad , u need the msgs ( keep a record on paper incase she deletes them ), and next time she meets a guy , follow her and take pics , but , i dont think u should tell ur dad unless things get seriously messed up .
    and maybe u should check with ur dad , maybe the doc is right .(about maybe him having an affair )

  10. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe your the daughter of the rare couple in an open relationship?
    Listen, it sucks to be you and what you’ve got going for ya here is screwed, but butt out of your mom’s life. She can do whatever she wants when it comes to relationships. This is too personal of a situation for somebody to involve themselves in.
    What if your mom is just incredibly charismatic, and those are her clients? I don’t see that’s evidence enough. Texts, and meeting men.

    Either way, just butt out. If she cheats, she cheats. 5alas, guilt will do its part.

  11. I have no one to talk to excpet friends.

    Parents aren’t related. Not cousins.

    Charismatic? Clients? Her job has nothing to do with that, it revoloves around something completely different. I don’t care about what she’s doing. As I said she can do whatever the hell she wants, just keep us out of this and not make it so obvious that even I notice.

    My mom told my dad what I thought she was doing. She pretended so be sad and all… My ass. He wanted to talk about it but I refused. He thought that she could never do such thing. Though he knows all about guys flirtng with her and stuff in malls but he thinks she just ignores.

    Both of them are messed up in their own way.

    • Tell your dad, back up your confession with solid evidence.

      if you keep this going it will only get worse trust me, and you’ll
      end up watching her meet more guys until the day you scream your lungs out, you shouldn’t put up with it and nor should your dad.

      It became your business when your mom put those guys before her kids and husband.

  12. has any of you watched BURNING PLAIN????!!!

  13. look. im no doc, im no lawyer, im no one.
    im just a girl (close to your age) with an opinion.
    for a second clear your head from all that shit. sit. think.
    what is the RIGHT thing to do ?
    whats the best solution ?
    if you tell your dad he will get mad and there will be a divorce.
    if he finds out (which he will sooner or later) hes gonna be even more pissed cuz all of you lied to him. not only your mom. you shouldnt get involved in all of this just let the adults take care of it. dont tell your aunt if shes TOO close with your mom cuz she’ll do everything possible to deny it.
    it is your business when you found out. i say this summer holiday in the right time, you have to face your dad as your own responsibility towards your family. if your mom is a liar,Don’t be like her. what she did is wrong, and you guys shouldn’t suffer for her mistakes.
    I am very sorry that you went through all of this, good luck honey.

  14. @ Miscellaneous:

    ” but butt out of your mom’s life. She can do whatever she wants when it comes to relationships. This is too personal of a situation for somebody to involve themselves in.”
    you must be watchin 2 much Desperate Houswives.
    ur talkin like they’re roommates and not a family.
    im not trying to come off as a preacher but maybe bcoz i have a conservative background, when you see ppl straying away ( a mom not being a mom,…. etc.) gotta put them in check..

    there is a sayin that is kinda relevant which is “anybody can make a baby, but it takes a real man to raise one”.

    what i mean is u dont get married and f@#$ like rabbits like it a duty, live up to ur actions…

    i strayed off the subject alot but i am very hurt for the confessor… like we say (caysheehom) all the time with as much sarcasm as u can fit, without being rude(callin ur mom a B.)
    good luck and i hope u the best

  15. You are 14 .. no wonder your mum is not threatned by you .. strengthen your personality .. 6awlay ilsanich .. 6al3eelich sha59ia .. if she’s still a bicth then i think a divorce and a better mother is needed to raise you!

  16. I think you should plan a slideshow of pictures including your parents mostly and your whole family watching and asking your parents about the romance they had and how she will feel bad if she still tends to be a bitch no offence then threaten her to tell your father and have evidence!

  17. 7aram 3alaikom keep in mind this is a 14 year old girl.. 7abeebte dont be upset im so sad u had to find out about this.. yemken entay sgheera bas mbayen 3alaich 3aglech kbeer.. u know the solution lana usaid it urself.. geltay u dont care about her bf’s bas atleast dont date in front of ur daughters.. kalmeeha goleelha i know about this and this WITH evidence.. saved messages, forwared msgs from her phone to ur phone, whatever it is.. tell her ana mabi afarreg bainech w bain uboy.. and i dont care what u do with ur personal life.. bas dont involve us..ur daughter isnt supposed to teach u right and wrong when it comes to this but atleast respect the fact that we’re ur children and we have a hard time seeing something and turning a blind eye.. i dont know about telling ur dad, what i do know is IF they do get divorced or separated as a result u dont want to be the one carrying the burden.. let ur parents work it out and trust me 7abl el hethb gseer anyone who lies and cheats will get found out sooner or later.. entay eli 3alaich is that u tell her not to do it in front of u out of respect for her children and as a mom.. i hope this helps sweety;*

  18. simple tell ur father !!
    believe me if she was my mother i wont be living with her.

  19. you have to make an action, its your responsibility to tell your dad. he shouldn’t live in lie. also, its not right a woman having sex with many different guys and she’s married. If she got preganat do you think her husband should be the fake father! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL HIM SHE DESREVES WHAT WILL HAPPEN.

  20. Dear confesser,
    I can pretty much relate to ur story,as my mom
    Is a cheater too …look it’s a really
    Tough decision u gotta take.
    U have to tell ur dad and then
    Let him decide ..but the question
    Is can u stand being away from
    Ur mom ? Cause once u spell the beans
    EVER ! U’ll be living with ur dad away from ur mom !
    Ur relationship with her will get affected ..
    So u can only hope that ur mom will be a better person ..and my advice to u is to save ur breath and try to pretend like u never read those msgs
    Wishing u a happy life «3

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