Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 52 – I am Dirt

In Confessions on May 14, 2010 at 4:49 PM

I am dirt.
I am the dirt walked upon.

when I was a young boy of 9, i went to chalet as i would every week with my cousins.
this time though. it was different, all the adults had left and my male cousin who’s 5 years older than me and another female cousin his age and, i were alone in the chalet.

what happened next was the thing that started the worst part of my life.

this is gonna be a long long lonnnggg confession because this killed my life.
let’s give names lets say Mohammed and Fatima and me being Abdul.

so little abdul came back inside the chalet’s living room and saw fatima and mohammed talking, even in a young age he knew something was going on. Mohammed then came closer and told me “hey lets all go to the room and stay there.” as we all enter, i heard a noise. a lock. i turn to see two devilish smiles; smiles that still return to my mind everyday of my life. they took me right there, they took my clothes off, tied me up. held me down and turn by turn, made me less and less of a human. i was their sex slave. turn by turn they would harrass and destroy every fiber of humanity left in me humiliating me in everyway. raped. played with. a toy to their game.

Little Abdul died that day. the person who came out of there was someone else. i couldn’t tell anyone they threatened my life for it.

this started the beginning of my new life. a life destroyed by so much even now at the tender age of 17. my life is shattered. and it all started that fateful day in the chalet.

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  1. you are NOT dirt. what happened was beyond your control and comprehension. you should not feel sorry for yourself, that which does not kill you, can only make you stronger. and you my friend are strong. your life is NOT shattered.

    the statute of limitations on any crime is 5 years in most countries, but you are a young adult now, i suggest, if the memory remains vivid, that you tell someone about it, their deed should not go unpunished.

    and yet, if you can find it in your heart to forgive them, despite the horrid things they did, that would be your first step towards a full recovery. nothing anyone can do or say will take away the memories of that day.

    you are at a cross-roads, choose wisely.

  2. most abuse cases are against children, happen for a reason, they cant fight back !
    for a tense event like that i highly suggest you talk to a professional about it, they really help you put things back into perspective.
    you will find a way into a better life
    ” its not how hard you punch,it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward “

  3. Wow I am so sorry to hear this..can’t believe people would cause such harm to a child. But you have to understand that its not your fault, you’re not to blame for this happening. I wish I could say things will get better, they will eventually. But of course I haven’t been in your shoes, I will never understand your pain. The only thing I can say is try to be positive, reach out for help. Therapy, friends, something positive in your life. It’s gonna be hard, but their’s light after so much darkness.

  4. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.

    IT’S A BEAUTIFUL WORLD.

  5. Congrats. Your 1st orgy was at the young age of 9. I’m 26 and I’m still a virgin.

  6. Awww that’s very sad, don’t worry you’ll be OK, you can still get married and have children, just every time you have sex you’ll remember and start crying, very depressing, aww you upset me! 😦

    *throws sandwich in bin and goes to bathroom to wash up*

  7. you know for a 17 year old youve got guts to say how you feel! i admire that in you… put in mind that there are a lot of people that went through bad sexual harasment when they were kids, and mostly girls they grow up lost and have a hard time respecting themselves and trusting others, but you grow and realize things differantly give yourself time thats all i can say, i share your pain a lot of childhood memories still cross my mind… but thats fate, its there to make us stonger. feel good about yourself and just put in mind that there are a lot of people like you around you, but no one shows their true experiences and pain. lighten up your only 17 and never underestimate yourself, your worthy, be proud

  8. lol and george orwell you guys are nasty!
    what happened was rape not an orgy..
    i you werent so perverted LOL… never mind i dont wanna get censored..
    regardless dear confessor, these are people that have bricks for brains so dont feel insulted for their lack of affection

  9. thank you guys really it was a big step putting this out and honestly I’m happy to know I have people on here who are glad to help me out.
    To LOL and george orwell. I’d like you two to be where I’ve been then start saying things like that. For you two, to walk in a website and make fun of a serious situation shows your maturity levels.
    This isn’t my final post though this is just the beginning. My story goes further

  10. i highly recommend you see a psychologist. you cant blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault and your current depression only shows how weak your faith and character is. the simple fact is all people suffer in their life time in one way or another, the thing that separates successes from failures is how they fight through and persevere in their situations, in your case you have failed to do so but you still have the chance to put what happened behind you or use what happened to you as an incentive for you to succeed in your future and in turn helping other victims that fell prey to sexual abuse. If you allow depression to dominate and ruin your life, you have no reason to live. And i know that all people have a reason to live so wake up and stop bitching and moaning, many others have been through worse and took what happened to them with stride… if you seek my help feel free to ask… your friendly psychologist “S”

  11. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain your going through.
    But remember “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” 😉

  12. I’M ONE OF THOSE COUSINS, STOP TELLING PEOPLE! DAMN YOU ABDUL!

  13. You have every right to be angry at the world, i don’t blame you, all i can say is try doing something u’ve always wanted to do since you were a kid, it might just a little bit cool off your anger, and please remember there are still people who understand and are humans

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