Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 51 – Hard to Please, Yet…

In Confessions on May 13, 2010 at 2:39 AM

Posting my story kept going through my head over and over, until i felt whats the harm in getting a few opinions?
I would first just like to say that it takes a lot of courage to say or admit all of your stories and i would like to say to all who did confess their story that you are an example for all who are afraid to seek help, second opinions and stress release. Anyway i wont take long, ill get on with my story.
I’m a very hard to please guy, i mean not many girls can really attract me or i like them, actually not many is alot, i say about ZERO girls actually attract my attention.  Anyway, its my last year in University and there is this girl that for the first time has got me going crazy over her.  Im not the type to follow girls on the road, or try to harrass them.  I started asking about the girl, is she good, personality, reputation, and when things were looking good i had a friend (a girl who knows her) try to see if she was into marriage.  Long story short in i ended up talking to her, and she said that she was young, and her parents wouldnt allow a non-graduate to propose.
I guaranteed her that i was in my last year (as was she) and that i didnt want to propose until i stood on my own feet.
After a while, she became more friendly, she starting saying hi in public and talking to me, and i thought she might be actually interested since i told her i didnt want anything other than the possibility of marriage. But then she started to become distant, only talks whenever she felt i wasnt paying attention to her, whenever i would not say hi or ask about her, like 3 weeks or a month, she would just pop a message as if reminding me she existed.  I got frustrated with her inconsistency so i told her to back off, and i had enough friends and i wasnt looking for new ones.
so for the whole year we didnt talk or anything, now we are nearing the years end, and she is starting to play staring games, i see you no i dont see you and those childish games, sadly i still want to marry her. and i dont know what to do. your opinions are appreciated.

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  1. Maybe she is not the type who talks to men in public,maybe she felt ashamed? and said to her self that if he is serious he’ll just come running to my doorknob to propose . But after all I do not know how that girl thinks..I’m just assuming.

    What i would do ,I would ignore her actions, and propose when you feel ready..etha alah kateblikum ne9eb ,it’ll happen .

  2. coz u used the word “sadly”..i don’t recommend u propose..i don’t recall my husband telling me sadly i married u or sadly i love you..im sorry but the divorce rate is getting higher because people are soo in a rush to get married..and about the staring games umm i think shes waiting for a proposal since its the end of the year…i saw many similar relationships go down, im not saying it will happen to you but always think twice especially in marriage u don’t want to pick the wrong person..im assuming shes trying to garantee the proposal hence the all of a sudden reminder the shes here, nothing wrong with that since u started it..ur having second thoughts DON’T GET MARRIED

  3. maybe she wants you to shower her with affection.. or show her some cat & mouse action..
    you seem like you have your head screwed on correctly so i wont be tellin not to F it up.. but instead of bein short and bitter ( from your depiction) be friendly and see if she shares your feelings yet or if you should move on and go from there..
    best of luck to you buddy!

  4. If you actually talked to her on a daily basis as opposed to waiting for her to call then she would’ve been your girlfriend by now.

    She’s doing what every Kuwaiti girl would do to a guy that is interested in her. Are you seriously planning on proposing once you graduate? Dude, enjoy life! You’ve got another world ahead of you.

    My advice to you: do not propose. It’s way too early.

  5. clarification, her inconsistency or yours? not to sound like a bigot or sexist, but guys are supposed to take the lead in the intricate dance of love.

    it sounds like some event is going on in your life that has you frustrated, and you are venting your frustration out on her. why else would you pursue her so ardently, then tell her you have enough friends and dont need new ones?

    either you are playing hard to get, which is appreciated but your method is a bit childish, or your feelings have changed.

    before committing any further, re-assess if something happened that caused you to change the way you feel about her, and this is some internal struggle within you, your heart wants her, but your mind doesnt.

    hope this helps.

  6. Normally when someone likes a girl they talk to that girl, get to know her, and maybe take her out on a date or 2. Why did you not even say hi to her or talk to her for 3 weeks/month at a time? I’m completely with the girl on this one. Her actions are justified. You didn’t even communicated with her for long periods of time and then when she tries to communicate with you you brush her off? You got frustrated with her inconsistency but it was your own inconsistency that caused this.
    A guy is supposed to be the alpha. You have to attract the girl. You have to talk to the girl. You have to keep in touch with her. What you did was REALLY wrong… lol. You have to talk to a girl that you want to get married with you can’t just not talk to her for long periods of time and then when she talks to you get frustrated. What kind of mentality is that????
    Look deep inside yourself and adjust your personality for the next girl. I don’t think this girls wants to be with you. Imagine you’re married and you do the same thing… I can’t even imagine it.

  7. take the lead, show her that your interested without looking like a psycho of course. If you want her this badly go after her, don’t wait for her to chase you.

  8. It kept me thinking, why does she want to play games?;\ If she really likes you she would not play around I guess.. I say pray 9alat el iste5ara and you’ll get your answer..

  9. busulaiman you sound like RICK JAMES…
    lmao

  10. I think it’s good that you went up and told her directly that you are looking for something that ends up in marriage.

    But don’t play hard to get games. In any potential relationship, we, the guys, take the lead. If you truly like her and want to marry her, you need to get to know her and you need to feel attracted to her. How well do you know her, to be talking about marriage? Marriage is not a game.

    I say, you just go up to her and get to know her. Now, in Kuwaiti society you might find it difficult to ‘date’ her but you can get to know her through the phone or msn. There is nothing wrong with that, but eventually you have to date her before you marry her. You don’t have to date her alone; maybe organize an event where a whole bunch of your friends are there and talk to her, etc..

    The tone in your post is very neutral. Clearly, you don’t love her (yet?). [side note: the song on the radio is going like ‘I just want somebody to loooove’] I think you just want to settle as soon as possible, but like someone said, live your life, but at the same time, you should always be looking for potential wives, because you never know what ends up happening in your life (i.e. travel for work, making it difficult to get to know people).

    I hope that helps!

  11. mmmm is she me? jk

    anyways dude we seem similar personality that we hard to please to get which I find it negative sometimes or quite most of the time cause if that then you’ll never get the true answer I mean LOVE! true ones,
    anyways about that girl, well she seems that knows you want her so why don’t you just go make a move, you’re a guy dude!
    anyways why so rush in marriage?;/ mmm is she that beautiful that got into you even though you never dated her nor talk to her much, I don’t know much nor into tradition stuff but I bet she looks beautiful that made you go crazy that’s it. period.

  12. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.

    IT’S A BEAUTIFUL WORLD.

  13. you fell in love “for” her, not with her, just yet. your first interaction was that you saw her, and wanted to talk to her, rite?

    then, she told you the rules, you had to be a graduate, and you had to be a suitor, you emulated the role, but it was still too early,you must be around 20 or so, and you wanting to stand on your feet, how will that happen, you just graduated.

    i suggest you slow things down, get to know her more, if you really think she is the one, ask to meet members of her family, work your way up to mom.

    but again, do not rush into things.

  14. JD ur on crack 😛

  15. I’m guessing you’re mature, she’s not, I don’t think she’s worth marrying if she plays some ki of childish games

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