Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 43 – Childhood Ongoing Drama

In Confessions on May 3, 2010 at 4:18 PM

Ok .. So i’m about to confess my biggest Secret EVER !! Please don’t judge me.

I’m a 16 year old Qatari girl (yes, I do realize that this website should be for Kwaitis) and when I was about 9 years old my dad, the person who no other human being could ever live up to, sexually molested me. I’m not sure it’s even called “Sexual Molesting” because i’m not quite sure what that means. Don’t get me wrong, i’m still a Virgin, we never had sex, not even close. He just touched in places that he shouldn’t have while i was “supposedly” sleeping. I was so young i didn’t know what was going on, i just knew that i felt so disgusted and a part of me realized that what was going on was wrong, i was just too afraid to let him know that i was awake and face all the awkwardness of that entire situation. The abuse continued until i was about 11 or 12. My dad acts as if nothing happened because he really seems to believe that i was asleep and never knew what was going on.. Demented Much ?!

Anyway, i’ve been carrying this secret around for so long i just wanted to let it out. And i know that i should probably come clean and tell someone what happened but that would definitely break up my family and life would never be the same again. My mom would literally go Insane. Plus i’m too ashamed and too big of a coward to tell anyone. I remember once when i came back from school, my mom was sitting in the living room watching Oprah or Dr Phil or something like that, it was about a girl who was sexually abused by her dad. I remember my mom say” Sh’hal ashkal. Ma 9adig ena fe dads ysawoon chee fe their kids. 9j Sick people”, I can’t even begin to imagine what would happen if she knew the truth.

Ufff i feel like my dad is such a Perv !!!! I feel really happy when i hear about his health problems cause i reeeeally want him to drop dead so i can feel safe again..yep, I realize how messed up that sounds.
I know eni katba 89at 7yati but i just want to let it out. Hope u understand.

  1. I dont think you have to wish for your dad to DIe … Because that would make your Mom Even More insane WOuldnt IT ? … Life is SUch … Ur Dad Molested You …Definitely Wrong from ALl corners of living and Definitely You are gonna feel Hurt about that but that shouldnt stop you from moving forward and living your life …Because it wasnt your fault anyways …Just Think of it as a Bad dream … Ur Dad will be punished by the Natural forces …

  2. I totally under stands u, the same thing happened to me wen I was 13 but with my oldest brother, the only difference between me and u that I did act as if I’m sleep but wen he went out I couldn’t stay in my room any more so I slept at mom’s, and I told her the next morning about what he did, I can under stand how disgusted u feel with both him and ur self.

    7bebti ina ttmnen il mot 7ag oboch mu il 7al, w ham inich ttklmen w tgolen 7ag a7ad kber mo il 7al, bs dam ina wgaf 3aan hl t9arof shay wayid zain, w low mara 2 7awal ysawe hl shay intay kbera w tft’hmen al7en latmthlen inich naymah golela (yuba ili tsaweh 3aib w int oboy il mfroth t5af 3la shrafi, low sma7t wagif ili tsaweh, ana mabi agol 7ag omi 3shan ma ahdim il 3aylah bs lat7idni ini agol) , 7beeebti I know le ay drja ma ttmnen 7ta yjesich low b thfra w tnarfen minah so try to make a big distance benkom w dayim lbsay ashya2 wse3a w ‘6afyah lma ykon mwjod, latgolen 7ag omich t9arofich 9a7 bs low ‘6al ykarir hl shay w hddteh w ma wgaf golelha.

    W 7yaaaach alllaah il 3en awsa3lich mn il site ;**

  3. Uhh… yeah…. thinking of it as just a “bad dream” will only keep you haunted more and make things worse. I’m sorry such a thing happened to you… but these things happen. You need to confront it. You need to go to your mom, sit her down, and tell her what is happening. You have to make her understand and trust you. You need to get this out because what your dad did was WRONG and is not justifiable in any way. Blow the cover on this whole thing.

  4. DONT JUST DONT blow the whistle on your dad and let the divine justice take its course……..btw I understand I sincerely understand you….kodus to you

  5. You have to say the truth..ur not ruining a family ur saving it..don’t wish anyone dead ur dad is sick and needs help

  6. blowing the whistle is not always the right thing to do.. i kept similar things inside for over 20 years, and still do, to this day, because i am unwilling to speak of what happened.. it is all well and good to say yeah, tell your mum.. but who then will care for your mother, and you? and maybe siblings if you have any? i could never put my mother through the truth of the reality of what happened to me, i know she would not have coped with it either, she would have put so much guilt and blame on herself that i would have lost my mother..

    i agree with folly, you cant rely on divine intervention, and you are only 16.. if you can understand what happened to you and you can process it and somehow let it go, then you will be alright.. do not forget about it though, because it will come back when you least expect it.. and its not the memories that return so much, its that disgusting feeling that you get inside you, and it can also have an effect on future relationships you have with men, especially the shameful feeling..

    i wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do.. you are a very strong young lady, you will get through this!

  7. Aww 7abeebti. I feel you, walla I do. I was never molested by a family member, but by my own doctor. I never told a SOUL…

    …until last year. The school I go to puts on a play in the beginning of the year, and it’s all about real life experiences of the students. A couple of the people had stories similar to mine, and even worse, we ended up becoming best friends, ALL of us.

    I told them what happened to me. And honestly, I swear to God, all the pain I was carrying just disappeared. Sharing a scary experience with someone who’s been through the same thing REALLY helped me a lot. I can honestly say that what happened to me doesn’t bother me one bit (I know I’m in the minority here, it affects a lot of people’s daily lives forever). You have to choose to not let it get to you. Babe tell someone. Anyone. A friend you can trust, who you KNOW will be on your side; who will tell you it’s going to be ok.

    You can hate him all you want. I know people are telling you don’t wish death onto your father, but it’s ok to feel that way. Vent. Let it all out. All the hatred, all the anger, all the negative feelings you have built up inside of you, let it out. ANY way you want. Just let it out.

    Go find someone you can trust, a teacher perhaps? Do you go to a private school? Like an English/American/French school? I can guarantee you that you can go talk to ANYONE of those teachers, and they will help you and support you.

    I know I will get a lot of hate for picking private school teachers, but the foreign ones tend to understand more. I’m just saying this from experience. All I’m trying to say is find someone you can talk to. Someone who won’t judge you, who won’t tell you to stop hating your dad, who won’t tell you to stop thinking negative things about your dad; someone who’ll listen to you and just tell you it’s going to be ok.

    If you have a strong relationship with your mom, tell her. Please tell her. She’ll probably be the first one to be on your side. I am only suggesting you tell her, if you KNOW for a fact that she will support you. Do not tell her if you have any ounce of doubt (I always say, “when in doubt, don’t”), because you can’t risk being shot down or not taken too seriously.

    Please keep us posted. You can email me if you want to. You can keep it completely anonymous. I just made a new email for you, if you want to talk. You can make a new email too, and just keep it completely anonymous. lizkuwaitexposed (at) yahoo dot com

    I just want you to know that you are NOT alone, and NONE of this is your fault AT ALL. What you’re feeling is VERY ok. And you’re going to be alright.

    Choose the life you want to lead, choose to not let this get to you, choose to move on and choose to have a happier life. It will all come to you, I promise.

    • OMG you just made my day .. i like totally freaked out when I saw “7 responses”
      I thought they would be totally judgy.
      But thaaanks for your support.
      It really means alot to me :’)
      But I’m so freaking scared of telling anyone .. even my best friend who i share every single detail of my life with.
      If people found out, every single person i know will find out in a matter of days..i mean we live in Qatar. People here love nothing more than a juicy Scandal and cant keep their mouthes shut.
      And my mom and dad would probably get divorced. I’m not sure i can handle that.
      But I’m also not sure i can feel fear for the rest of my life, wondering if he’d ever or will ever molest my younger sisters. he’s really good at sneaking into beds at the middle of the night .. Perv!
      or how i’ll never be able to take my kids(if i end up having any) to their grandparents house.
      Uffff this whole situation is so messed up mn galb.

      • 7bebtii send them msg asking 4 my email i’ll try my best to help u, knt b nfs mw8ifich lma knt t8reban b nafs sinich now ana 3 sina jam3a w ma abali’3 lma agolich ina nset kilshay w kila 9ar OK, plz sis add me on msn 🙂

  8. I also wish that my dad drops dead. He is an artist in ruining people’s lives. Briefly, I know that he has ruined 8 people’s lives including me. I’m sure that there are other people I don’t know about. I know exactly how you feel 7abeebty. I haven’t been through what you have,but I just wanted you to know that it’s not only you that feels that way about their dad. I’m trying now to get over this feeling by transcending because I have a big hear, and I’m sure you do to. hatred will only make the heart blind dark and gloomy. Hatred is like you wanting the person you hate to drink the poison, when the real person who is drinking it is you. And I can’t let that happen to my clean heart. Therefore, I keep reminding myself “hey hes your dad!!!” That’s the only reason I’m trying to convince myself for not hating him. I didn’t choose him, God almighty did. And God almighty knows what’s best for me. I hope I have managed to help you dear.

  9. This whole situation is indeed messed up, however there is a big bright side to the story, he stopped doing what he did at around when you were 12, luckily he didn’t continue his perv’y actions, maybe he almost got caught and said it wasn’t worth it, but in other situations dads can go on until this very day. So thank God for that, on the other hand what he did isn’t that damaging as compared to other child abuse situations so thankfully you still have your virginity. I say don’t tell anyone about it, keep the family, according to what you said his sick too so his sickness + this will only cause your mom a nightmare and your family to dismantle. Everyone knows now but your still anonymous which is great now that its lifted off your back without anyone knowing who you are.

  10. welcome to kuwaiti website and you are always welcome to kuwait and inshallah will see you.
    ok this is common problem i was facing same but not my dad,it was one of my uncle he was involved in such things but it happened with me twice only and i started avoiding him.
    You do one thing you tell your dad that you are in love with someone and want to marry, thats all he will understand that you are not that young which he believes.
    God bless you.

  11. that sucks

  12. OMG i feel so bad for you , I’m Qatari too and i have never thought that this could happen here . well u can look at the bright side now that he stopped maybe he knows that what he did was wrong and he regret it , u never know , i know that ” He is ur dad ” and u looked up to him as if he was superman but u should at least ask ur sister if something like that is happening to her ” b6re8a 3’air mobashra 6ab3na ” and u obviously should tell someone this is too big of a secret to keep it inside you , I hope you find the right person whom you can trust :*

  13. It’s time to blackmail your dad.

  14. ewww that’s disgusting .. I thought these were American myths that only come up on Oprah or something .. Jesus Christ go to the police and put that pervert behind bars .. he doesn’t deserve to be called a father! the bastard! :S

  15. You are a hero. I am trully sorry for all that you have been through o inshallah allah iyfarij’ha 3alaich. My personal advice: sure, itha tabeen tastereen do it, BUT, you need to talk. So go to a therapist. If you can’t afford to go to a therapist or can’t tell your parents that you want to go to a therapist, then go to your counselor. If you can’t trust him/her then FIND someone you can trust who can give proffessional advice. But, you need proffessional help 7abeebty, because you need to recover from this so you can trully move on, especially when you grow up and get married. Please please take my advice and seek proffessional help because intay ‘3aliah and you deserve a healthy life. And plus the therapist will probably have the best advice with regards to your situation and he/she has to keep your secret or else they lose their license ;p

    Just know that you are loved by probably hundreds of people and we all recognize you strength and bravery. This also goes out to anyone who went through anything similar. You are all wonderful brave women. Allah ya7fithkum o yastirkum.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s