Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 35 – What Do Women Want?

In Confessions on April 20, 2010 at 1:19 PM

What do women want?

Since the dawn of time, mankind has been plagued with attempting to answer this question. It has in fact, gained more popularity than, “what is the meaning of life?”

I have been battling this conundrum for a very long time, and have to say, I am as clueless, if not more so, now, than when I first embarked upon this impossible quest.

My first finding: despite the macho bravado, guys are afraid of rejection. It is in our genes (not jeans!). I came across a delightful anecdote that explains this; lets go back one, two, maybe a couple of million years ago, when cavemen roamed the earth. Back then, the groups that the cavemen lived in had plenty of men, and few women. The men were hunters, gatherers, and more importantly, continuity providers! They had to get the women’s attention. If poor Fred (as in Flintstone) attempted to talk to Wilma, and got rejected, for whatever reason, Wilma would tell Betty, Betty would tell Roxie, and so on and so on (moral of the story: women talk.). All the women in the clan would shun Fred for his oafishness, which could be through no fault of his own except that Wilma was not in the mood, and as a result, Fred’s “Line” will be forever lost, because he made one mistake.

What do women want?

I represent the dying breed of decent gentlemen. Those who pull out chairs, and whip up compliments in the blink of an eye. Caring, providing etc. you know the type. A true romantic at heart, a poet even. Love settlers, in that we look for that one-in-a-million person and stick with her through thick and thin.

I used to be under the impression (and you can blame romantic comedies for this), that women “dug” the sensitive guy. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying sensitive as in chick flick and tear box, I just mean caring, loving etc.

You know the type; think Mathew Broderick in addicted to love, that’s me.

Now, you have the current ordeal of America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock, a decent woman, everyone can attest to that, BUT, she’s married to.. Jesse James. Who used to be married to, a porn-star, who bore him children.

What happened here? What is it about the, for lack of a better term, bad guys, that attracts women? Whatever happened to the proverb “nice guys finish last”?

All those self-help books about how to meet women; they all stress one point (yes, I read a few online) be casual, flirty, funny and, i forget the fourth.

Let me stress at this point that I have few problems approaching “strange” women and starting up a conversation. I do however go through an extensive thought process before-hand. But, I do have success stories. And none revolved around what was being preached in those books.

Its not in me to insult a girl, even playfully. It goes against my nature. I cannot understand how the bad guy appeal trumps the good guy for real.

Again, it is a really confusing issue. You talk to a girl, you have to think about when to call her back, you cannot call back insistently or else you’ll be seen as needy and that is a turn-off. But isn’t it human nature, to have that desire, to love and be loved? Why do I constantly have to consider what to do, what not to do, what she thinks I should do, what she really wants me to do. ARGH!

Why has love turned into a bureaucratic government building decorated in red-tape and jargon?

I want to fall in love again, I do not know how to go about it. Everything is a test (Collin Farrell- The Recruit). Is that right? Is everything a test? Do I always have to think of the scenario i.e. wall-post on fb, does she want me to reply immediately? Or privately? Should I make it sound like I don’t care? Or compliment her somehow? Or just ignore her completely? Should I talk to her friends and not her, should I msg her? what, what, WHAT?

Unlike Danger-Dan who posted and boasted previously about his promiscuous night of money, booze and women, I have a certain set of values that I am not willing to compromise.

And I’m not old btw, cannot claim a generation gap, I’m still in my early twenties and hoping to find someone similarly aged. But, the question is; how?

Another question is how to go about doing this in Kuwait, but thats another tale, for another time.

Do I have to change my ways, adapt to what is the current fad, insult the girl, ignore her, treat her badly, and she’ll fall in love with you madly? Or do I stick to who I am, play the game I am comfortable with, and hope to find a hopeless romantic, like myself?

Ladies, gentlemen, your feedback would be much appreciated. What do women want, why do bad guys get the glory, what can the good guys do?

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  1. I always thought the same thing. What do they want?

  2. Mashallah, nice writing skills, have any blog of some sort? ;p

  3. i personally like the whole bad guy thing ( except abusive ones which i hate ) , i love their looks but its not always about looks , its the personality .
    maybe ur not looking for the right women , try to look for someone more like u instead of randomly talking .
    what do women want ?? looks and personality and just having fun with that someone .
    why do bad guys get the glory ?? hmm , maybe its cuz they’re out going ? or maybe just the looks.
    what can good guys do ? to not look nerdy and geeky , and be more out going .

  4. i dont know about others but i will give my views about this topic.i m also a girl in my early twenties and just dont understand the whole dating thing which has become a norm in today’s generation.
    What do i want as a girl?jus being loved.jus having someone who cares about me,n someone i can trust and care about.
    They say a guy will love a girl for one of these things-her money,her beauty,her family background and social status or her faithfulness.
    And i think among all these things,i dont wana feel that i m being loved because of my money,beauty or social status.what if a girl doesnt have all that?does that mean it takes away the right from her to be loved n cared about?every girl deserved to be loved for what she is.not for what she has or will have.
    N once you love a girl for that she will be faithful to you all her life.
    If i love someone,does that mean i hv to speak to him for hours and hours on the phone?hangout with him everyday?hold his hand in front of my friends to show to them that we are a couple?
    Thats not true love.that dating.for god’s sake learn to diffrentiate b/w love and dating.b/w soulmates and boyfriend/girlfriend.
    I dont believe in the dating thing that’s why i m still alone?
    I wont let a guy touch me who is not mahram for me that’s why i m alone?
    Somebody tell me why?
    n the question that i ask myself all the time is “what do guys want?” can we get answers to this also.

  5. I am kind of if the same boat as you man. I’ve always wondered what do women want, how do I get women, and how do I keep them. But in the past couple of years I have really learned what it is.

    The best thing to do if you like a girl is to first of all, start saying hello to her. Bring yourself up to her radar screen. If you can’t say hello, wave to her. The next thing you have to do is to start talking to her. Talk, talk, talk, and then talk some more. Be yourself and be as a friend, while casually commenting on good she looks or other things like that. Girls love that small stuff. As you talk and talk, you’ll know the right time to ask for her number. You have to be casual.. you have to be yourself. The most important thing is to be yourself. She will know about who you really are and you can learn about who she really is and then realize if you want to be with her. Do not go for looks alone.. I’ve learned the hard way.

    About the when when when questions. The answer is when you want to. Should you reply to her text message now or later? When you feel like it is the answer. Should you reply to her facebook status? The answer is if you feel like it. You have to realize that you have to be who you are for her to find out if she wants to be with what you are. Just take things slow, talk a lot to her and find out who she is on the inside and things will progress. Throw in casual flirts, say nice things, open the doors for her, etc.

    I think the hardest part (especially with me) is to initiate the first talking. But you have to tell yourself that if you want to get to know her, you HAVE to initiate the talk. Quite some time ago I would try to bring the courage to myself to talk to girls, and a lot of times I just didn’t. I felt sad that I couldn’t “man up” and just talk. But then I realized, if I don’t at least try, I can never ever find out if “she’s the one.” So I did man up, and a lot of times my heart was pounding so hard, by saying hello. The first couple of minutes your heart races and it feels like your blood is boiling.. but slowly you will become calm and feel casual. A lot of times with pretty girls everytime you see them (at least for me) the first few seconds your heart will race.. but it will get casual, trust me.

    You just have to really try. You have to try.. you have nothing to lose. Sure it may suck if you get rejected.. but hey I’ve been there. You will get over it and you will try to get with other girls. Trust me.

    • wow, awesome advice bro! i love it!
      yes; approaching is the hardest thing, but, it does pay off in the end, and if it doesnt, well it just serves to harden the skin

      thanks for the advice

  6. @any1
    n what goes on during that talk talk talk period?
    U are making that girl feel that u r analyzing her because u are interested in asking her out.n if she has some kind of crush or soft corner for u,she will expect more from u.n when u find out she is not the one,u will move out,n she will be the one who feels rejected.
    This is what u guys do,but not what we girls want.all we want is true love(n i mean true love), care and attention.nothing else.everything else is secondary,the looks,the wealth,big house,cool cars.its not about the things,its about the people.
    N for god’s sake stop treating us girls like things at a store for sale.we are humans.flesh and bone with a handful of emotions.
    P.s apparently my previous feedback wasnt approved by admin it seems.hope this one does.thanks.peace

  7. p.s just noticed that my first comment has been added.thanks for that

  8. “Now, you have the current ordeal of America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock, a decent woman, everyone can attest to that, BUT, she’s married to.. Jesse James. Who used to be married to, a porn-star, who bore him children.

    What happened here? What is it about the, for lack of a better term, bad guys, that attracts women? Whatever happened to the proverb “nice guys finish last”?

    You know they broke up and having a messy separation?! 🙂

    Patient is good, enshallah you will meet the women that will complete you…

  9. not true, i actually like the good decent guys, the whole women only like bad boys is just propaganda,

  10. I’m in the same boat as you my friend… I do everything you do and I do not get the girl in the end. I firmly believe that the nice guy (me and you) don’t ever get the girl they want.
    I’ve tried being the “bad boy” but like you, it’s not in my nature. I just can’t do it.
    I hear that my only option is to wait, but I’m sick of waiting. I’ve contemplated doing what “Danger Dan” has done, and I’ve even gone as far as going to one of the countries…..but while there I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

    If you ever find a solution to this other than “being patient” then PLEASE let me know!

    • oh my god, i did, or didnt, do the same thing!
      i always felt like i wanted to, i was even right there, but in the end, my moral compass always takes over, and i am the better for it.
      i think that, with everythin in life, when the moment is right, it will happen. no reward without risk.
      i really wish we both find what we want, its time for the NGI (Nice Guy Initiative) to take effect!

  11. I cannot answer you as I am too a nice guy and want to find out the answer to this tragic mystery.

    And to “kuwaitexposed” stop rejecting my comments, I want to know of this matter that is more popular than the “meaning of life” ;p

  12. First off, the question, “what do women want?” is implying that women all want the same things, and that unlocking this grand mystery is going to put a girl on your doorstep. Wrong! Women are unique, with unique wants and needs, like all human beings. So, abolish that thought.
    I personally find it attractive when a man “keeps his own council”. Basically, be true to yourself. Don’t be the Nice Guy, be the Good Man. The difference? A Nice Guy is an opportunist, preying upon women and being very simpering and commiserating, but not being honest about who he really is. He is the Nice Guy because he thinks it will get him somewhere.

    That comic sums it up.

    Just be honest, kind and respectful, and you will find that a good, honest, kind and respectful woman will love you. Good luck on finding love, you seem like a heartfelt man.

  13. you should get yourself a guy, fall for him, and put yourself to rest

  14. Marry me?

  15. Why are u comparing urself to fictional characters, no wonder no one wants you, u think u live in a movie o_0

  16. Never compromise your beliefs and values for a girl. If someone is to fall in love with you, she will have to fall in love with the person you are, not the person you are trying to be. We’re all unique and special in our own different ways, never compromise your true self for others. Be patient, it will pay off.

  17. thanks anonymous; yes i do:
    iblooogle.blogspot.com

  18. wow; amazing responses and great advice.

    @3 you are absolutely right; its not a matter of generalising; we are not all the same. so i apologise for that; i guess the question should be what does the ideal man have to do to get his ideal match, to paraphrase:

    i understand that finding love is not like going to the grocery store and searching for love potion no. 9. it is a sacred, almost hallowed, approach, wherein you reveal the depth of your soul to someone, and they respond accordingly.

    the problem is; it doesnt work that way. inside, i know i am right. i know ive unlocked “the secret”, but how to get the chance to prove such, without coming off as being, all the negative things associated with being too in love.

    for example; you date a girl, you like this girl, you feel a connection, she reciprocates. you say i love you, and all the sudden you are too demanding. that is what i am talking about. how the signals can be misconstrued.

    All people want to feel like they are the center of attention of someone else. the phrase “to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world” plays well here.

    How does one pull that off; without pushing too hard?

    @queen
    what do guys want? Its not what most women think or want to believe. We are not all programmed to want just one thing from on our minds and use every trick in the book to get it. Like Shrek and the onion example, guys have layers. As do girls. I am sorry if this comes off a bit as objectifying, saying guys, girls, women etc. Guys can be emotional to.
    I want to find my special someone, whom I can love and who loves me back. Sharing everything, providing together as equals. Someone to talk to late into the night. Someone who can see me at my worst, i.e. after I fail an exam, have an accident etc. and still love me. It is sappy; but here is the truth; guys are made to be tough, “big boys don’t cry”, but oh they do!

    & FYI; no one said good guys have to look nerdy Skinny Freak! ;P

    • Perhaps you are too easily falling in love, mistaking love for intense infatuation, which is a strong feeling, no doubt. I myself have felt this deep wanting of someone before, and have misconstrued it for love. love is a complex and multi-layered thing. You are looking for what every human being is worthy of, but strangely enough, it’s rare that people find love that is so melodious and strong.
      Play your emotions closer to your chest, don’t fall in love with women too easily, step back, assess, ask yourself, is it love? Think of the kind of woman that you want to be with, and DO NOT SETTLE. On that point I am adamant.

  19. My two cents on the matter…early twenties, can I assume that the girls you are referring to are also in their early twenties? Because, if so, then I might have an idea. For the most part, girls in their early twenties are still immature, yes I said it, immature – and I don’t mean high school drama immature, but in knowing what they want from a partner; still niave in a sense.

    Yes, I am a girl, and no I’m not in my early twenties, but I do remember where I was in life in my early twenties. I am 29, and about to tie the knot this summer, something no one thought would happen. But you get tp a point where you’re sick of the games, and plots, and calculations…and you just wanna be. And when that day comes, it is not the bad boy that gets the girl…it’s just a matter of time I think. Just bad timing.

    Perspectives change, in as little as 4 years – what you want out of life, the kind of person you want to share that life with, your priorities – they all change.

    You’re the kind of guy a girl wants for a lifetime, not just to date for a few years.

    just my two cents 😉

    • yoshe, congratulations on your pending nuptials

      thank you for making my day; early twenties; just hit 24 today =)

  20. Hey man ! I do get you too I mean I’m a girl too, and I do get confused about the girls wanting and needing i mean there’s a difference between wanting and needing in their dictionary;/ anyways just don’t be so 5arooof, it’s a turn off to us and we think it’s man-less. oh yeah and try not to call too much following, let her wonder :Pp

  21. Plus don’t think too much , it’s C-R-A-Z-AAAA-Y 😉 Just chill and live your way , we love that.

  22. Women don’t really know what they want (:

  23. i dont think anyone does! when is lunch, just lunch, and when is it something else? how to read between the lines.

    would it be safe to say, that there are some things in life (like how a plane can stay up in the air) that simply, are, without reason?

    • I like you 🙂 your posts make me smile, especially the one about how a plane can stay in the air… Actually, it has something to do with Bernoulli’s principle – some uber smart physics dude. That’s the extent of my knowledge on that subject 😉

  24. Okay I’m in love with your personality seriously! Some girls just need guys to tell them that they love them and they have to stick to their word and if she doesn’t choose you then her loss!

  25. Jad jad , a7la post!
    Perfect question.
    Depends on the type of women she is.
    I must say I’m impressed! Especially when you said you don’t insult girls not even playfully.
    Well, I would personally go for the good guy.
    Only good guys would appreciate a women. And I sincerely believe that women who choose bad boys are those who are not seeking commitment.
    The most important thing to me is ena we shouldn’t act around each other. In other words, I shouldn’t feel that I must pretend to impress him or even stay quiet to make him want me more. I would love to have someone I can be myself around. Someone who I can turn to, cry on, laugh with, and care for his worries.
    Someone that I will love that will eventually mean me. Ya3ny ayshay e9eer fee chena 9ayer fenee ana.
    I’m being perfectly realistic. Mu ga3ed agool wla abee kamel. No, bas abee 3yooba t9eer 3yoobi wihmooma t9eer hmoomi o wanastaa men wanastee. Abee he actually allows me to be his crying shoulder; that way he’ll be mine.
    What do women want?
    Simple.
    Someone to shower them with love. Once you do so, she’s all yours.

  26. well unknown, i believe we have cracked the code! it is all about pretenses, keeping up appearance. guys believe, as it was drilled into us @ a young age, that we have to be tough, that also goes for emotionally as well. theres a rather evil saying that some guys play by; 7eb el benaya tetrekek, etrek el benaya te7ebek. (love a girl she will leave you, leave a girl she will love you), we’re told to be nonchalant. But i totally agree with what you say; its not about getting someone to be dependent on you, albeit that is sunnet el 7aya, the purpose of life, to be primary provider for a family, its about getting someone to be mutually dependant, co-dependancy; someone who knows your faults and loves you just the same, or even loves you for said faults.

    what i wouldnt give for someone like that =)

    thank you all guys; goes to show that this site was not merely made as a place to air your dirty laundry, but hopefully a place where we can instill a new norm in the never-ending dance that is falling in love.

  27. Wow.. seriously you’re like the guy of MANY girl’s dreams. That girl must be very lucky..you should tell her how you feel and if it doesn’t work out then mallah qasem and allah is gonna give you a better girl. Good luck and I hope there are a lot of kuwaiti men who are like you.

  28. Okay..

  29. life always seems like the chorus to that song by vertical horizon – everything you want

    in case you havent heard it:

    I am everything you want
    I am everything you need
    I am everything inside of you
    That you wish you could be
    I say all the right things
    At exactly the right time
    But I mean nothing to you and I don’t know why

    @lovefool, that is so sweet, thank you. but it turns out im not the only one like this; there are others, just waiting for a chance. how to get it? how to show a woman the mettle you are made of?
    I treat people the way i want them to treat me, hence, you love people the way you want to be loved. Unconditionally.

  30. Wooow, Ouch.. If i may, I would like to offer some personal advice to you?

    All girls are different, special and unique in their own ways.. The same as all guys are different, special and unique in their own ways.. Do not go looking for the same thing in every girl, because how one girl loves you will never be the same as how another girl will love you.. If you already have a preconception of how you want to be loved and use that as a standard for any new relationship, then you are creating expectations for a girl to live up to, before you have even started, which is not right..

    My personal opinion on love is, don’t go looking for it, it will find you when it is ready, or when you are ready.. If it is meant to be, then it will be.. Have faith and Allah will provide you with what your heart so desires 🙂

    I truly wish you every bit of happiness, and I hope you find what it is that you are looking for..

  31. @Reluctant…

    thank you; you are absolutely right. its not a matter of a cookie cutter; what works for one will not always work for the other.

    I guess patience is a virtue that people really find difficult to achieve. Its hard waiting for food to get cooked, its hard waiting for a promotion, its hard standing in line @ a queue, its even harder waiting for your significant other. I believe you, good things come to those who wait; and I do believe that things happen when they are meant to. However, like reading any story, you get excited half-way through, and start wondering what would happen, you dream about it when you are not reading, and the story takes a different angle.

    If two people are looking for each other, and they do not know it, wouldnt it be great if they met halfway?

    =)

    on a side-note; does anyone have experience with setting up a similar blog? I seek help making one that focuses on matters of the heart in kuwait, as opposed to sins of the flesh.

  32. well, I think you plan a bit too much, you need to experience improvising. what makes a bad guy loved is not because he insults, it is because he doesn’t think beforehand. you’re trying to apply a theory where there shouldn’t be any theory, it is not “to remember” when you are approaching, rather, it is “to imagine” or “to happen” that’s why being who you are is not like being like you always been, it is something different and what you should be “should be” insistently happening. I am a woman and I hate it when the approach is well/obviously/overly planned, no matter how nice the guy seems to be, and that’s exactly why we hate arranged marriages, it is the plan we -or I at least- hate.

  33. That is wonderful advice Deema, you are so correct, there is no theory’s when it comes to love, you do should do what you feel in your heart is right.. When it comes to matters of the heart one should not plan so much, love is about feeling, doing and being, not planning..

  34. @ hopeless romantic..

    just a thought.. maybe try sending a suggestion to the web page owners/staff, perhaps they could categorise the posts here.. one for advice and one sins etc..?

  35. @Deema

    thank you; remember the whole caveman theory? those who are thinking two steps ahead unfortunately will be plagued with planning too much. the bad guy has a certain set of goals in mind, the good guy has others.

    i can be sporadic, but the general theme would be the same; romantic.

    you;re right, there is no theory. there are guidelines; what not to do, i believe those would be general, correct?

    i too oppose arranged marriage with every fiber of my being, ive never, nor will i ever, try it. you will find activists who say it lasts longer, but i believe in love.

  36. about the guidelines questions: what to do or not is case specific, I don’t believe in the general theme. even what seems to be a general standard don’t think of it as a general standard. it’s a relation and you only need to relate to it naturally, and doubts are easy to get over, if you don’t make a big deal of a relation, not to where it is going as much as how it is going, I mean just enjoy it as it goes 🙂

  37. @Deema

    i hope you do not mind if i use “it’s a relation and you only need to relate to it naturally” of yours, it is wonderful, and summarises the whole thing.

    May we all find what we are looking for.

    =)

  38. Alla ekathr men amthalik ..

    5al 3anik hal 5arabe6 o berbis el yahal. Laman tanwe inshala etzawaj .. Dawerlik bent el 7alal .. Est5er rabik o towakal. Things will come naturally .. Don’t over think it

  39. @noor

    ameen.

    here is the thing; its common place for one to start having, doubts, as they progress in life. i know it is great to believe that something good will come, but knowing the unkown is a trait only god possesses. who here has not laid awake at night wondering, when will i meet that special someone? its anxiety, its natural. the point is; you have to think about where you want to go in life. there is no magic switch that flicks when you are finally ready to become a husband. i do not have any indiscretions i regret, i lead a good life, but something is missing. i’m sure i’m not the only one feeling so. how long can someone have patience before they say, its time to do something about it?

  40. Act like you have a pair and you just might get to use them

  41. that cannot be the last advice you get; buSulaiman go back to counseling others like yourself.

    the answer comes from within; as zen as it sounds, only you know when its rite.

  42. what women want? good question.. if you do find out lemme know eh?

  43. you sound like my dream man lol but joke asides….seriously most of time females don’t know what they want..I am guilty of this at times. I am so over the whole bad boy crap, I hate when girls say oh you just have to go thru the bad ones to appreciate the nice guys. Why can’t I just appreciate the nice guy from the beginning?? My advice to you it just be patient, I am sure you’ll meet the right one for you.

  44. hey, im a simple and an outgoing girl in my early 20s and let me tell you one thing: i hate “bad” boys!! sweet boys get my attention a lot. if they are caring, lovable, and sweet ill definitely consider them. we want guys who are there for us everytime we needed them. About rejection, well i dont blame you, i know this very sweet guy that really is into me but i never paid any attention to him !! but he tried his best to catch my attention in every way possible. when i saw how he wanted me so badly and he wasnt giving up i was like “wow that guy really likes me, no boy will ever want me that bad after i rejected him a lot” !!! i started considering him. so if you really like this girl you should be determined and never give up. Believe me she’ll consider everything that ! but you know whats strange? when i started considering him and showed him that i may be interested in him, he still didnt approach me yet !! he still show signs of interest and stuff but i guess hes still scared of rejection!! so guess what? boys are weird too ;p

  45. and one more thing, girls have to tell her other friends about other guys !! its in our blood thats how we are!! we need someone to talk to ! a friend to give us advice and tell us what to do !! but keep in mind she will only tell her close friends that she trusts! she’ll not go talk about you to other girls!! girls are closer with girls more than boys with boys !!

  46. @Legal;
    I completely agree! girls are closer than guys, thats a FACT! and yes, boys are weird too.

    i am a huge fan of what you said; wanting stability in life. touche 😉

    im guessing your admirer is suffering from mixed signals; you didnt pay him attention, then you are paying him attention. (im going thru the same thing too)
    do not spell it out, but do not stop doing what you are doing. guys may be a bit slow when it comes to the obvious, but eventually, we will get there! and the wait will be well worth it.

    now waht about gals? they also miss the obvious, or just like playing hard-to-get?

  47. well a whole lot of comments still coming in.
    This is my favourite confession so far.i was about to comment on the topic but then thought that it can become my own confession.
    So dear admin i m sending in my confession hope you guys add it:-)
    Confession under construction;-)

  48. @hopeless romantic:
    at first they miss the obvious and then when they realize it, yes they play hard to get because we know that guys want us more when we play hard to get or maybe ihya wayid thgeela! most of you guys dont realize that and they misunderstand us in many ways and think they dont want you anymore but thats all wrong and you start backing away!! but when we realize that guys are backing away because you get bored of chasing us!! girls now want you back! what they used to have, but dont have anymore, they want it even more !! one more thing a lot of girls and im one of them i dont really like showing guys that i like them or im interested in them i show no signs at all im just too shy and thats also a misunderstanding for guys !! we just need you guys to break the ice !! i can never make the first move!! but one guy once told my friend that he always wanted the girl to do the 1st move? is it true? madri in my opinion guys dont like that or do they?
    and about how its worth waiting for, we can wait but not for so long, we can get bored quickly and just move on !!

  49. @Legal

    about first moves; it depends on the situation.

    lets say you two were friends at first, casual friends, then you became closer, and then one day you realise, or he, that the friendship is different. one of you, or both of you, go out of ur way to see the other.

    its not a gender specific role, i personally think a guy should make the first move, but, this is the 21st century, why not give that right to women to? it all depends.
    thing is; lama tethgal, how do u draw the line between incessant and amorous? when is she not interested, and when does she want you to try harder?

    bit of personal experience, if u really want to know if ur both on the same page, ask this very simple question, casually: how do u know if someone likes you, to your purported significant other. if its meant to be, they’ll run thru a list of things you have already been doing.

    lol @ get bored quickly; nothing worth fighting for is easy, right?

    @queen
    looking forward to reading it 🙂

  50. i do beg my pardon,, if i may throw my 2 cents worth in? i cant help myself^^, i do agree with queen, this post is by far my favourite 😉

    i think honestly hopeless, a lovely charming lad such as yourself, if she is the right girl, you should not have a problem getting her..

    i remember there was a comment a little while back that said something about a relationship being natural, so you should relate to it naturally.. if you have yourself the right girl, then it shouldnt matter about all these questions,, just be yourself! thats all anyone, male or female, has to do,, what more could anybody ask for? if you are with the right person, telling them how you feel shouldnt become so much of a problem..

    look at it like this.. cost benefit analysis? do not the benefits of the other person feeling the same way, far outweigh the cost? its only a little wounded male pride right? =P

    just be yourself, and you will do just fine i should think 🙂

  51. many a thanx Reluctant, you have a great way with words, muchos gracias : )

  52. Women generally want excitement. Based upon this, it’s obvious why bad guys get the girls.
    That’s how I see it anyway.

  53. Self-confidence. (You can be a man at any age if you act like one.)

    A man who is confident enough to walk up and tell you that you are beautiful (in whatever manner without being offensive) and confident enough to try it again the next day if he faces rejection.

    A man who is confident enough to be able to be there when you need him – even if it is just for the sake of reassurance.
    A guy who is confident in his own skin even if he isn’t drop-dead gorgeous.

    A man who is confident in himself that he doesn’t have to divulge how much money he makes, what his social status is, or his sexual prowess; and confident enough so that he doesn’t ask you about yours either.

    A man whose self-confidence guides his morals and values. He knows who he is and doesn’t falter. He is confident of the right and wrong way to treat people and acts accordingly.

    A man who, when seeing a woman who needs assistance, is confident enough to step in and help.

    A man who is confident enough to know that whatever he gives out, he will get back in return somehow, someday, someway.

    I believe that most people (not just men) have somehow forgotten how to behave and the difference between what is vulgar and what is respectful. If you do the right thing and are confident that you have, there are no mistakes.

  54. I must say that this post is something that i often think about young hopeless romantic 🙂 such a pleasure to read your insight into the male wonderings of want a female wants..

    In all honesty i have been thinking about your question since i read it back in April.. And I think i have finally found my own answer to your question.. I thought you may like an outside point of view?

    I have aksed alot of my friends, who have been thru recent breakups, the same question, males and females alike, and it seems that women in general have the same wants.. And men also appear to want the same thing? I dont know tho because i am not a man 😛

    When it comes down to it all, things like money, a good job and looks wont get you so far in the end.. They certainly will get you if the door first, but those things alone will never be enough to sustain anything long term.. Not unless you find someone who’s drive in life is material possessions and wealth?

    What we want in the long run out of a relationship is three simple things; Trust, Honesty and Reliability! it is those three simple things that sustain any relationship.. And you could also through in Respect but trust and honesty equate to respect in my book..

    Hope you dont mind me sharing my thoughts and findings with you?

    Good Luck in your quest Sunshine 😉

  55. I must say that this post is something that i often think about young hopeless romantic 🙂 such a pleasure to read your insight into the male wonderings of want a female wants..

    In all honesty i have been thinking about your question since i read it back in April.. And I think i have finally found my own answer to your question.. I thought you may like an outside point of view?

    I have aksed alot of my friends, who have been thru recent breakups, the same question, males and females alike, and it seems that women in general have the same wants.. And men also appear to want the same thing? I dont know tho because i am not a man 😛

    When it comes down to it all, things like money, a good job and looks wont get you so far in the end.. They certainly will get you if the door first, but those things alone will never be enough to sustain anything long term.. Not unless you find someone who’s drive in life is material possessions and wealth?

    What we want in the long run out of a relationship is three simple things; Trust, Honesty and Reliability! it is those three simple things that sustain any relationship.. And you could also through in Respect but trust and honesty equate to respect in my book..

    Hope you dont mind me sharing my thoughts and findings with you?

    Good Luck in your quest Sunshine 😉

  56. I must say that this post is something that i often think about young hopeless romantic 🙂 such a pleasure to read your insight into the male wonderings of want a female wants..

    In all honesty i have been thinking about your question since i read it back in April.. And I think i have finally found my own answer to your question.. I thought you may like an outside point of view?

    I have aksed alot of my friends, who have been thru recent breakups, the same question, males and females alike, and it seems that women in general have the same wants.. And men also appear to want the same thing? I dont know tho because i am not a man 😛

    When it comes down to it all, things like money, a good job and looks wont get you so far in the end.. They certainly will get you if the door first, but those things alone will never be enough to sustain anything long term.. Not unless you find someone who’s drive in life is material possessions and wealth?

    What we want in the long run out of a relationship is three simple things; Trust, Honesty and Reliability! it is those three simple things that sustain any relationship.. And you could also through in Respect but trust and honesty equate to respect in my book..

    Hope you dont mind me sharing my thoughts and findings with you? =)

    Good Luck in your quest Sunshine 😉

  57. This by far is the best confession on this site!
    I can’t wait to read another! We are all stuck on this love boat that no one has the solutions to…. The best thing though … make-up solutions as you go through life!

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