Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 26 – An Unusual Relationship

In Confessions on April 15, 2010 at 2:08 PM

What i’m about to tell you all is a 100% true story that i feel it’s time to let it all out of my chest. I’m a 25 year old kuwaiti gay guy. I was is a relationship with a guy for 4 years and everything was perfect and as i’m being the educated one and understanding , i had control of the relationship which he was fine with and we spent litrally everyday with eachother my home his home we did everything together and i was all happy and full of joy and he could not stand me being far or away from him, truly the best time of my life and ofcourse the biggest mistake was that i left all my friends cause i keep spending more and more time with him and he did two, he was close to my family as much as i was very close to his and they loved me, then suddenly out of nowhere after a 4 year relationship with all the love and the morning love sms and him can’t stand being away from me and all the crying and true meaning of bestfriends and boy love, he easliy says i wanna get married and i wanna
continue my education and i’m going to start a family ( with putting inmind that he has not that much of a personality of being the man and supporter , he litrally doesn’t know anything about life ) but i personaly didn’t care about that point cause i was in love and i knew i can manage my and his life. since january 2008 till know i can’t say that i recovered , i can’t say that i’m 100% ok but i can say that i’m better than 2008 better than 2009 honestly i did all what was in my hands and power to save the relationship . i mean come on suddenly , since when you know this girl ? how did you know her ? from where did she come from ? we spent like all day and everday together ?????? and why know ??? i thought you were a gay ( and by the way a good one and liked everything of it ) and how can you now and this time split from me ? the one who you followed everywhere if he’s mad at you . the one who is allways there for you . i had a nervous breakdown , I never ever ever thought of this
happening to me of all people , i meann i had it all and i was happy. after i recovered after comming back from the hospital , i needed to know whats going on what is going on in my life and why is this sick freak made it misrable overnight, so i went to see his father where he worked as a head of on of the schools and chatted with him about the situation ( ofcourse from the best friends side not lovers ) and there i was striked with the info that broke me down in tears in from of his father , that he is lying to them about me and him being fine and that we are still friends wich wasen’t true and that he is fighting with them at home that he wats to marry a woman who is 8 years older than him, i was shocked from where did all this come from and how me the bright one the know it all did not even feel that there is something not right about all this time, I’m sorry all for boring you with my story but i felt that i had to get it out and ofcourse i didn’t go threw some details and
there is a continue but what you all need to know is that since 2008 i don’t know anything about him, no calls no emails no nothing, honestly i’m a good person and i seeked nothing from him except love and fun , yet i didn’t do anything wrong , yet i miss him and still wish everything could go back as it used to be, wishing that all of this is a dream

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  1. My dear, your story is a heart breaker, of coarse wen some thing comes out of a sudden and especially if you haven’t expect it to ever happen with u, I’m more than sure that wen you reed the comments your tears will be dropping without u knowing it, and u’ll check if there’s any more comment every 5 mins, I’m also sure that herring what ppl have to say to u in the comments will make u feel better inshalla .

    Any way that guy is a perfect liar, and I think that this wasn’t his first, u may think that why this thing happens to me not to any one els? My answer to you is cuz alla loves u, I’m not judging but being gay is 7ram in islam, maybe alla wonted u 2 c the right path with time.

    Loving a person and making your life all about him and him only is the worst thing to do, and I’ve learned that the hard way, there will b this sad felling as if some one is squeezing ur hart wen u think of him, some times u feel ike u want to call him just to tell him how u feel to complain of him but to him, some times you’ll feel like you want to stay all alone listening to music perhaps in ur car but believe me that’s the bad thing to do it will make you feel even worse, he’s not your only lover he’s ur best friend 2 that’s y u still need him and think about him,

    My advice to u is find new friend, stop listening to sad songs, fined a new lover (wish that lover is a girl), and never stay alone wen thoughts of him starts to come to your head.

    Best of luck 😉

    • You are absolutley right … specially with the part when you sain ” he is not just your lover , he is your best friend ”

      but yet again the effect is still stong till this moment and 2 and a half years has passed and i still think this is all a dream

      but thank you for your support .. really thank you

  2. thats just freaking weird and wrong … maybe he realized being gay is the wrong way and he wanted to do the right thing 🙂

  3. @Foxhound: maybe being an asshole is weird and wrong, eh?
    @poster: This is the second story I am reading here (out of three!) that is about a lover being left in the dust while the other moves on and completely changes. I’m sorry to hear that, and particularly because I know it is probably a lot harder to find a homosexual relationship than a heterosexual one.
    But that having been said, you can only move on. Concentrate on getting your own life on track–get your studies done, get your friends that will support you around you (even if not specifically about this topic) and someday, when you’re least expecting it, someone fabulous will walk into your life!
    (The girl I was supposed to be moving to a different continent with did an about turn one day and told me she was in love with one of my best friends! After I got over thinking life was over, ffw 11 years and she and my friend have gotten married and my wife who I love more than I have ever loved anyone before go over to their house regularly and play with their children!) Life is like a river, it takes a strange and rambling path, but eventually, you get to the ocean blue! 🙂
    good luck.

  4. Btw c the movie that’s posted on one of the coments of broken heart it reely helped me

  5. thats because he did the right thing married a girl and have kids and continued his education. Thats what should’ve done thats normal

    • darling , till this moment he did not do anything of the things he said ,,, he did not continue his education ,, he did not get married ,,, and he did not start a family ,,, he is a follower not a leader

  6. Hey there

    First of all, I’m sorry to hear about your break up, you two seemed to be made for each other, but alas, life is not controlled by you, and things can go wrong sometimes.

    You have encountered an emotional shock, something major like this is hard to get over, but with your willpower and determination you just can cross this bridge! Don’t tell me you can’t be cause you CAN! Trust me on this! 😉

    “wishing that all of this is just a dream” I’m quoting you here, and seeing that you would prefer living in denial, this is a big no no! You must not hang on to the past, look to the future, find a new friend, build your life again, be happy!!

    Also something I encourage in these kinds of situations is find a friend from the opposite gender, find your self a girl friend, I know your homosexual, I’m not asking you to sleep with her or anything, just hang out with the opposite sex, chill out, put this in the past.

    Out this confession in a box, lock the box, place the box somewhere in your heart, then lose the key! You’ll still remember your friend, but not the lover.

    Best of luck in life.

    • i do hope you are right ,,, i thank you so much for your support ,, and i do hope i move on and pass this phase ,, but to be still effected since 2008 ,, this is definetly serious but yet still i finished my studies and moving on to the career phase , but correct me if i’m wrong but i think finding a best friend or a partner at this age and in this phase is going to be very hard as i have been as your can say bitten or stunged by the previous, any advice on how can i get back on the horse . thank you again

  7. Hey!!

    I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but my heart goes out to you. Heartache and breakups are the worst, but to be abandoned just like that, with no specific reasoning and no closure hurts the heart more than anything else.

    I really hope you someday find love. Find love with a better guy, one that deserves you and treats you right and won’t just desert you.

    It seems to me that this guy maybe succumbed to peer pressure, and married a women, because it’s the “right thing to do”. Especially since you said he’s not very responsible and seems like he doesn’t have a strong personality, maybe he couldn’t handle being in a secret relationship and wanted to do what society thinks, is correct. If that’s the case, it seriously sucks. I’ve heard of SO many gay couples breaking up, because one of them is getting married to a girl. It’s the worst thing ever.

    …I really believe that someday…in the very distant future, love isn’t going to be about gender. I feel like at some point, it’s not even going to matter what gender you love. There isn’t going to be gay, lesbian or bisexuality, but just LOVE, where everybody can love anybody. I really support you being gay… especially in Kuwait. It honestly must be so hard, I can’t even imagine.

  8. Getting back on the horse’s back after a dramatic shock may be hard, but not if you don’t think it’s hard. You must believe in your self, be confident, I’m not knowledgeable on how to find a homosexual friend here in Kuwait, maybe someone here can help you. Forget the past and live for the future!

    xoxo

  9. My friend ,z ur probably thinking this guy is mental or somthing about me 😛 but.. i really do mean it with NO OFFENSE…have u tried..”girls”? im not saying being GAY is a bad thing im just saying in the Quran which im guessing ur muslim sinec ur Kuwaiti….but..Being homosexual has to do with high levels of some type of hormone so maybe just maybe..if you try girls and seek guidance from allah sub7ana wata3ala u might find the way and end your ways have a family a daughter a son and be happy the rest of your life, being gay in Kuwait..at a older age..is just not accepted here Socially , but in the west.. its accepted..hope the best for u

    • No offense meshl … but have you seen girls in kuwait ???? … and i leave it here for you my dear friend 🙂

      • Have you seen the girls in Kuwait!? You have no taste whatsoever. So what! You have yet to lay your eyes on a decent looking girl. Or is that just your excuse for being the way you are? Your less educated/experienced friend/lover did the right thing when he left you for a girl. 1) It’s mostly likely against his religion i.e. if he is Muslim 2) What is there in a girl not to like!?

        You have problems man! Open your eyes!

  10. Im sorry for what happened to you, BUT..you keep saying im educated soo…? does that mean that u always make good decisions…i don’t know what ur trying to say by ur educated…i mean book smart is different than life decision smart. don’t tell me there was not signs of cheating and lying..id bet you didn’t see it honey, then u aint that smart.

    • Dear Truth , When i said the ( educated one i meant that i’m the one with a bachelors degree while he is a high school gradguate while we both are at the same age ) i mean no offence to the just high schools gradguates it’s just that education makes you more open minded in life and also i meant that i have been all around the world as to be exposed to different cultures and people while he has just seen the door of his house and again i mean no offense for anyone and i’m not bragging , i’m just trying to clear the picture a little bit more, and about when you said i must have seen signs ,,,, we spent everyday and minute either together or on the phone or the internet , i can litrally say no fu**in sign this movie is coming. when i needed my time alone with my family or abroad again with family he used to cry and wait for me in his car infront of my house. ( these acts wich drove me crazy and madlyin love with him ) it wasen’t his looks because he is not that cute nor attractive , it wasen’t his personality because again he is not that smart ,,, ( the thing that made me love him and be attached to him is that he loved me and wanted me more than i wanted him and that he could not stand me being away or with someone else ) … YOU SEE WHY I’M DEVESTADED ,,, YOU SEE WHY HE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME ,,, YOU SEE WHY I CAN’T AND STILL DON’T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED TO ME ,

  11. ” as i’m being the educated one and understanding , i had control of the relationship which he was fine with ”

    “not that much of a personality of being the man and supporter , he litrally doesn’t know anything about life )”

    “why is this sick freak made it misrable overnight”

    “how me the bright one the know it all ”

    ” he is not that cute nor attractive , it wasen’t his personality because again he is not that smart”

    So, you think of this guy as:

    1. uneducated with not much understanding (but you are educated and smart therefore superior)
    2.not knowing anything about life
    3. not being “a man” or capable of supporting someone
    4. a “sick freak”
    5. not smart; and
    6. “not cute nor attractive”

    Setting aside the accusation that he has left you for a woman and a “normal” life within the confines of the society in which you both live, it sounds like you are controlling and condescending.

  12. ” as i’m being the educated one and understanding , i had control of the relationship which he was fine with ”

    “not that much of a personality of being the man and supporter , he litrally doesn’t know anything about life )”

    “why is this sick freak made it misrable overnight”

    “how me the bright one the know it all ”

    ” he is not that cute nor attractive , it wasen’t his personality because again he is not that smart”

    So, you think of this guy as:

    1. uneducated with not much understanding (but you are educated and smart therefore superior)
    2.not knowing anything about life
    3. not being “a man” or capable of supporting someone
    4. a “sick freak”
    5. not smart; and
    6. “not cute nor attractive”

    Setting aside the accusation that he has left you for a woman and a “normal” life within the confines of the society in which you both live, it sounds like you are controlling, jealous and condescending, and only “devasted” because you no longer have someone to control.

  13. dude sometimes i wish i was gay, compared to what straight guys like me go through this sounds like heaven

    • life is weird ,, but we try to survive ,, but thanks bro for giving the time to read what i went threw

  14. U stil didn’t reply about if u ever was with a girl?

    I am sorry for that but u keep saying I am open minded, i am educated, I hv been abroad … I too am educated, i have been exposed to cultures, i hv been in private mixed schools, BUT I am still holding my beliefs and islamic values. I have done wrong and sinned but I am not proud of them I know its wrong, and try to always ask for forgiveness.

    Now trying not to be judgmental, but I think that he wants to do the right thing, he must probably liked being gay but wanted to try himself witha girl, and actually loved it. As it is the normal situation he decided to marry her. With u, there will not be marriage, no kids, no family!

    As for you, with time it will be less painful but wont cure ur scar left in ur heart. I believe the only thing that may help is replacing the old love with a new one. So go find urself some1 to love.

  15. are you thinking of getting married?! cuz if you are!.. i do want a cover-up marriage.. and i’d appreciate u helping me out! ..

    im the confession number 73#

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