Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 19 – Lost In Confusion

In Confessions on April 11, 2010 at 11:07 AM

I am confused. Honestly.

I am a Kuwaiti girl, studying abroad. I’ve lived abroad most of my life…but I’m a Kuwaiti. Both my parents are Kuwaitis and both my parents are SUCH good Muslims and AMAZING parents.

They’re raised me and my 2 other siblings SO well. We’re all on merit scholarships and we’re all doing really well in school. And I like to believe we’re all good kids…

…but I feel like a hypocrite. I literally lead a secret life. I’m a liar..and I know it. I tried to confess everything to my mom. Like, I brought up a harmless subject, just to see how she would react, and my plan was, if she accepted it…then she was ready to hear what I had to say. But she did not accept it. I told her that I planned on living abroad all my life, and that I plan on marrying a guy that I actually date…not someone I get set up with. She was not ok with that, so I knew I couldn’t confess my secret life, or she will literally cut me out of her life.

I lead a secret life. I am not a good muslim, and I am not a good Kuwaiti. I have had an american boyfriend for 4 and a half years now. I met him in high school. My family knows him as my BEST FRIEND…because I have a really big social life, so they have no reason not to believe me. But I love him. I want to tell them all about him. It hurts me that I can’t tell them little things about my dates with him, it hurts me that…if I’ve been out drinking, I can’t call them for a ride I have to rely on a friend. It breaks my heart that I just can’t be honest about my life. And I swear I’m not a bad person. I really am a good person. I do so much volunteer work, I work with kids, I help the poor. And I don’t do it to please others, its honestly just how I was raised. My parents are huuuuuge volunteers, so my brother, sister and I all do constant volunteer work. We all mean well, and it’s part of our lives, it’s something that we’ve always done.

I know in their eyes, if they knew what I was doing, they’d completely shun me, or just be extremely upset with me…it just hurts me that I can’t be honest with them. It’s not their fault AT ALL. I know it’s me.

I just needed a place to let it all out. My non-arab friends don’t understand. And I really don’t have any arab friends that I can relate to…I literally only have 3 of them. But they’re christian arab americans. I’m not ashamed of my culture AT ALL. I actually LOVE IT. I’ve written SO many papers about how amazing life in Kuwait is, and how the culture itself is just so different than they can ever imagine. I just feel like a hypocrite because I’m definitely not conforming to Kuwaiti society. I’m not TRYING to do this, it’s just who I am..and I am just the complete opposite of what Kuwaiti society expects of me as a Kuwaiti woman.

And also, I just don’t believe in religions. I believe in God. I KNOW there is a God, but I don’t conform to one religion. I’m an extremely spiritual person, and I believe I’m one with God. But I don’t like having to restrict myself to one religion, and one religion only. I like to believe that I’m a zen buddhist mixed with Islam, I do a lot of meditation, and I live a very carefree, relaxed life, but I’m extremely not religious. The only thing that doesn’t go with what I believe in, is my “secret life”. It’s killing me inside, because I hate lying. Lying is not something I believe in. My heart really breaks everyday, knowing that my parents think I’m this pure creature, when I know that in their eyes I’m not.

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  1. I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you’re doing, It shows how considerate you are because obviously you are feeling bad each time you lie to your family regarding your relationship with your American boyfriend.

    It’s a very hard place to be at what you are going through, but you have to understand and convince yourself that it is not your fault for becoming the person that you are today, everyone has the right to chose and become whatever they want to be, and if parents can’t understand that they will eventually deal with it, and trust me regardless of how your parents react they will always love you because a parent can never hate their own child, yes it’s going to be tough at times, you might even consider breaking up with your boyfriend when the pressure becomes great, you just have to be really strong and instead of arguing with them try to show them what of a good person he is and that you love him and want to be with him, just make sure that you don’t fight them back, let them let out all their steam till eventually they accept you and what you want, all this will happen with time, a long time, and it’ll be worth to wait for.

    You can’t hide what you are forever, it’s very unhealthy, just make sure first that he’s the one you want to be with and the way you live your life is 100% what you want then you should confront them and deal with it, you have to be strong to be able to overcome all what’s coming, the thing that will get you going is that you’ll know it’ll be worth it because it’ll make you feel better to finally get it out of your chest and the fact that your parents would know.

  2. I’m pretty much an open minded person. But when things interfere with religion, I can’t help it. Your mother definitely has a right on not accepting who you are, being a Muslim Kuwaiti citizen.
    I think the fact that you’ve lived all (or most, not sure here) your life out of Kuwait in a foreign country have definitely brainwashed you somehow (sorry, but its true!).
    Not being able to practice Islam leads to losing your religion (not entirely) but it fades more and more by time.
    I’m sorry to say this, I really want to show sympathy but I can’t but say the truth.
    First of all, having a boyfriend is a sin and we both know that.
    Second of all, he’s not a Muslim, and that is another reason. Muslim women CANNOT be married to Non-Muslim men.
    Third, “Drinking?” Do you drink? Americans, all kinds of americans try to AVOID drinking and it has so many side effects. And yet here you are, a representative not only for Islam but also KUWAIT, drink. I’m sorry to say this so coldly but, you are a shame.

    I would love to think that you’re enjoying yourself, but I know deep down inside of you you’re totally hating this life. There’s never a good feeling after a sin.
    I believe in second chances, and I believe that there’s always a new beginning. It’s never too late.
    You could have a fresh start, Allah WILL forgive you.. if you mean it.
    In the end, even though I’ve been very tough with my words and I apologize for that but I truly only want the best for you, not only being a Muslim but also a dear sister from my hometown.
    I truly appreciate your honestly and I really hope you’d consider my words.
    Best of luck.

    • i would have said the exact same thing.

    • Totally agree with emmas…

    • I agree, I know we are given the chance in life to do whatever we want, but sin will never get you anywhere, there will always be this little voice in the back of your mind saying this is not right. You will just feel out of balance in the universe like nothing is ever going well for you, like you constantly have bad luck. Take it from a person who has wasted 2 years of his life living the ‘fast life’, I’ve experienced a lot of things that I’m not proud of, but eventually i found that having Islam as my religion was a blessing.

      You have to make mistakes in life, and always change up your to see the best way to live it. Just focus on what you feel is right and wrong, and I believe that if you felt everything you were doing is OK, you would not feel conflicted and approach your parents with full confidence and support of your own decision.

      I just know out of a lot of experience that it is never good to stray far from the wise teachings of Islam.

      Hope you figure things out, and just know that you are not alone…

    • nobody’s perfect and everybody’s a sinner…

    • Hey emmas, the truth and someone; shut the f*&! up. LET HER DO WHAT SHE WANTS TO.

      but Muslim Men can marry non-muslim women ???

      Muslim Arab Men (kuwaiti & the rest) can and do EVERY FU$*#@G shit but their women can never do that; if they do, they have to die to cleanse the FAMILY HONOR.

    • Who is the hypocrite here..?! Who is the one not accepting that we are all different? Who is it that is imposing her own subjective take on her faith onto another? Who is the hypocrite here..?

    • I totally agree with emmas.. god bless you emmas

  3. see when i read zen buddhist i was going to say your stupid but then realize it wont do good but harm, im in a similar situation as ur or should i say was, religion is a big part of a person’s life, today its hard to differentiate between right or wrong because of all the distractions and ideology imposed by the media, See i witnessed a destruction of a innocent beautiful person over the course of three years, she was a muslim wearing a scarf, she was kind of an outcast she couldnt fit into the “american” society because of her religion and moral values, guess what? next day shes an atheist/zen buddhist. she abandoned all her morals her religion and values, she started to drink , she started to have relationships with various people , well u would say so what right? well ill tell u how this affected her she became depressed masking her self to be happy, she told me that she wanted to die young and life didnt mean anything, PLUS she started to shut her mom out and treat her like a distanced friend her mom started to tell her ur hard is becoming a rock , when ur OWN mom tells u this u know u screwed up… bottom line i usually dont comment on the web but her i can relate and i also witnessed a similar case, i just wanted to tell u rethink religion islam has been tarnished and is potrayed to be religion that restricts u , ur on a merit i assume u can read arabic, open the quran and started reading ull discover theres a BIG void missing and the quran will fill it up… dont listen to those people preaching go to the quran read it ull realize its the one and only way to live in serenity , free ,health and in peace. Its ok to go off track but its wrong to blind urself willingly from the truth . your an academic if u research into physics , math and logic u will realize there is a god just like i did.
    PS: im study mathematics and logic in one of the best universities in the world if u want i point u in the direction where youll find that islam is right, islam means several things one is internal peace. contact me on facebook if u need more help search for Gabriel Jeoury first result with the flower 🙂 good luck!

  4. Katy gave some great advice. Here’s mine:

    There are so many Kuwaiti girls just like you. They do a lot of things behind their parent’s back, because their parents do not understand nor want to understand this life that is different from conformist Islam. Kuwait is changing so rapidly and things are changing and opening up a lot more, but with a lot of Kuwaiti families the parents do not want their children to be any part of it. Especially girls have the hardest time and it’s girls who do things in secret.

    I think the best thing that you can do right now is to get married to this guy that you love. When you’re married you can do a lot more things openly and a lot less things secretively. Then you can try and talk to your parents about the way you’ve been. They may be mad at first.. but they’ll understand. You’re were young and still are and who can blame the young and adventurous?

    The religion thing. It’s your choice what religion you want to be. A lot of people here don’t even attempt to understand other religions and that’s why they respond negatively. Islam is the only way to them and condemn anyone who isn’t Muslim.. or they think you’re wrong and will burn in hell. Steer clear of these people. A real Muslim would respect any reasonable religion and it’s ways. Just try to be a good person.

    Good luck.

  5. I wanna say one thing, people drink to forget so you drink only to get your mind off of the things you do. Good luck, I hope drinking and your zen/Islam religion help you get through.

    • People don’t “drink to forget”. I don’t even know where you get that from. I drink at socials, at events, over dinner. I don’t get drunk every night. This just shows how quick some people are to judge. I’ll have a glass of wine over dinner every now and then. I don’t get shitfaced over dinner. There’s a difference. There’s drinking to get drunk, and there’s just drinking because it just tastes good.

      So you might disagree with me and my drinking, but I ask that you don’t be too quick to judge who I am as a person. Not just me, but others as well.

  6. I know exactly where you’re coming from.
    I’d like to believe that I’m a nice upstanding wholesome guy who’s parents are proud of him for all of his accomplishments in life. But I’m not the “little boy” they think I am. I’m 21 and I’ve done things that I know they wouldn’t be proud of. I’d like to talk to them about it but i know they wouldn’t understand.
    My only advise to you is that you should be yourself. If you have to end up lying to your parents to live a life that YOU want then that’s what you have to do. From what I read, you’re living life to the fullest. You’re enjoying yourself while making sure that you give back to society in many different ways.
    As for the no religion thing, I honestly don’t blame you. With the ways that religion have been exposed in the limelight and all the hypocrites behind all religions, it is hard to support something. But the fact that you DO believe in God and are quite spiritual is a good thing. It shows that you haven’t lost your way.
    I wish you the best of luck in the future and hope everything works out for the best!

    • It honestly is good to know that I’m not alone. I really do mean that from the bottom of my heart.

  7. Hey there,

    To comment on your dilemma, I can relate your story to many of the stories I’ve personally heard, and most of them ended nicely.

    First of all, if you have a drinking problem, join your local A.A. as fast as possible, don’t wait any longer as time is an important factor here.

    Concerning your ‘secret boy friend’ and your parents, honesty is the key, be honest, sit with your favorite parent (your mum or dad – who you think will not freak out) and just tell them, and wait for their reply.

    I don’t know how old you are, but I’m guessing your in University, so over 18, so in the US your a free woman, if your parents, I quote you here “shun you”, then leave with the love of your life.

    But just ask your self this one question, do you love him to the point that you’ll leave your family for him? Boyfriends, Husbands, Friends, they can leave you at any point, without any warning, but your parents will always be by your side, are you willing to remove them for the sake of this boy? Answer truly here, and your answer will lead you through life. Always believe in yourself.

    Concerning religion, I hope you don;t mind me skipping this part as I’m an athiest and won’t really help you here.

    Wishing you all the best in life,
    The Psychologist

  8. The good you do in this life does not always have to do with how religious you are. You seem to be a caring, vibrant, interesting, and kind human being. As for your parents, you cannot live the rest of your life for them. You can respect them by carrying the values they have taught you throughout your life (that you agree with), but living a life dishonest to yourself is no way to live.

    If your heart is a humane heart, and a loving heart, then what benevolent god, if there is one, can fault you? Behaving morally and kindly should be a priority for all humans, not just those who fear hell. Your parents should realize this also. Best of luck.

  9. I wrote this “confession”, and it really puts a smile on my face how much support I’m getting from complete strangers. Honestly it makes my day, more than you can ever imagine, to know that people out there support me in some way or another. I really do appreciate it.

    Even though “Emmas” doen’t agree with my way of life, I really do sense a caring in his reply. And Emmas, I really do appreciate it, if you read this.

    Seriously to the four of you, I really do send you “happy vibes!!” haha and good karma!

  10. agreed with any1 .

  11. Return to Islam and pray, you’ll see how your life will be better.

  12. This is beautiful, you’re so brave. You’re a good person.
    Shame and guilt is only normal.
    I could have written this..

  13. I agree with “any1” on all but one thing: Telling this person to get married. There is two main problems with her situation when it comes to Kuwaiti and muslim society. First, a Kuwaiti women marrying non-muslim man, second, disowning Islam. These things are scandalous, shameful, and are huge taboos when it comes to a “traditional” country like Kuwait. There is a 99% percent chance that her parents will disown her if she tells them the truth about these 2 things, causing pain and suffering to them and her for the rest of their life.

    My advice to this lady: Tell your mom to forget about that revealing conversation you had with her, that you were delusional at the time, and profess to her that you’re a born again muslim and that your “best friend” has also converted to Islam and is willing to marry you.

    Yes you’re still lying, but it’s the only choice you have if you want your mom and dad to die happy.

  14. A ruby is beautiful even with the Impurities it carries , but a diamond is pure , and only those with pure of heart can see the true form of a being.

  15. All I have to say is that as long as your keeping it a secret then you know (and believe) its wrong.

  16. It’s really shamefull(no offence) to see many young people in our society follow western trends and cultures. I mean young men and women nowadays forget where they come from and tend to follow a culture entirely different then their own’s. I know you’ve probably went to a private school and your first language could be english but that doesn’t mean that you have a total change to who you really are. One word I beleive in your confession is giving you all this turmoil “love”, you are a young women educated, strong(in a way), and wise(to a certain extent), but “love” is giving all these immature thoughts, honestly if you go through this in the name of “love” then in ten years time you’ll be counting your tears in regret. Relgion is what purifies a human, it teaches you right and wrong, and I understand that you weren’t quite educated in Islam but its never too late(Isam and buddism quite contradicting don’t you think?). I am definetly sure comments that support your cause and tell you to live your life and do whatever’s in your mind relax and relieve you and comments from Emmas, Gabbie, and Voss might make you think twice then I suggest you think twice and look into it and remember that you are put in life to enjoy it(to certain extent) but most importanly to be tested. Honestly I beleive that we are all here to support you, and try to show you the bright side of life. Weren’t not all relgious but were trying to make you think logically(try to know who you really are). I hope everything turns out well for you and our comments leads you to you’re innerself(whatever that might be), and remember your actions hopefully will make us prosper.

  17. Thank you so much for writing this, I completely get where you’re coming from! I also have been living abroad my whole life and always feel like a bit of an outsider whenever I go to Kuwait to visit. It’s not that I hate my own country; I’m embarasses at how out of touch I am with it. Kuwait is an exclusive society in that you hav to either conform or get out, and living abroad it’s hard to fit the mold.
    I’ve been in pretty similar situations to you and have gotten out of them and still maintained really good relations with my parents. Honestly, I  think the best thing to do if you feel this way is to tell them. I felt like it would be the end of the world if my parents were to find out what I was hiding from them, but you cannot believe how relieving it was to let them know. It took awhile to repair the damage, but it is infinitely better than having them find out themselves and losing their trust altogether. Trust me it probably feels like it will be ten times worse than it will in reality. I went through such pains to hide things from them, and looking back now I realize how sillly it was of me to do so. And don’t worry about your “secret life”; I know many expat (and non-expat) Kuwaiti kids that hid way worse things from their parents.
    Thank you so much for writing this; I know what you’re going through is horrible but I felt strangely comforted knowing someone else felt the same way I did 🙂

  18. hello… in all honesty i can care less for all this, but i write this to speak for kuwait and islam. firstly to avoid the hypocrisy i have done many bad things in my lifetime (im 19) mostly at the age of 16. but what separates me from you is that i did/do those bad things with the full knowledge that they are “bad things” even before i did them i was 100% convinced that they are bad things, and i do NOT seek someones words in hope to make them right, i just avoid doing them again. I do not think that you are a bad person nor do i think that you are a good person, i don’t know you in fact. You drinking, believing in God but dont conform yourself to one religion, and lying wont make me think that you’re a bad person just as you volunteering to help and make poor people happy and whatever it is that you do wont make me think you’re any good as a person. however based on what you’ve wrote im convinced that you’re lost. Believe in whatever you want to be believe just please dont call yourself a “bad-muslim”, because you are not a muslim; you are a “zen buddhist mixed with islam” which i am having a hard time to figure out how that works since buddhism contradicts islam and vice versa (?). I REALLY believe that all your confusions comes from the fact that you’ve done well keeping all this a secret all this time, had you been caught, your parents would’ve knew how to get you back on the right track. I would really recommend that you confront your parents! and NO its not your fault, you had to put up with living abroad without any real arab friends YOUR parents trusted you with young boys at a tender age, trust is good but consciousness is better! are your parents SERIOUS!? you’re a young girl going out with guys and girls to parties and wherever, people who have different views and can have huge impacts on the way you think and they’re suppose to expect you to be “pure” and all goody-goody??? my opinion on all this is that this is completely your parents fault, and if you want to make things right i suggest you tell your parents although this is there fault im sure they have the answers for making it right, they will not “kill” you nor will they abandon you. YES they will be upset but if anything they should be upset by there own selves for making you live in a lie. and for the record i dont support anything that you do and i dont encourage any of your views, excluding the volunteer work.

    p.s
    theres nothing wrong with marrying an american or any nationality, just as long he converts and converts while actually believing in it. as for going out with him, thats wrong whether he’s american or kuwaiti.

  19. I understand where ur coming from..If this is what you want then u will find a way through..live your life the way u want..try to fix the bad things..but in the end it’s ur life and nobody can judge you..only Allah..Allah e3arif il niya..
    -N~

  20. “To each, his own”, be whoever you want to be, and it’s not your fault you lost some of your culture, in time you will learn how to mix both sides of the world and create a new culture, or spark a new generation for that matter :D.

  21. I feel you. I’ve been there. Maybe not the whole hiding a relationship from my parents thing (I’m a guy and they’re more open minded and I guess it’s easier for guys). But on mostly everything else.

    I’ve often felt like spending my life outside of Kuwait post graduation. It’s my country and I love it, but it’s just not where I want to live my life.

    Hope you manage to work out your situation.

  22. @ADD: While Emmas comments above seem to stem from some true concern, yours seem to be just railing “for Kuwait and Islam”. Honestly, you misrepresent both, so next time you really can’t be bothered about something, do us all a favor and don’t write anything!

    @Confused: My parents think like Emmas above! For years I lied to them about what I was doing– I went to the Prom “by myself”, and I went for walks out in the moonlight by the beach “alone”! Ffw more years, I even had an apartment where I lived with the love of my life for years and they never knew. She would only be mentioned–as you said– as a “best friend” or a “good friend”. When I finally got tired of living a life of lies, I decided I was going to be honest.
    If there is a god of any sort, wouldn’t that be the least he’d expect? And even if there weren’t!, don’t I owe that much to humanity?
    So then she was no longer allowed to visit their house! And they would never come over to ours, and they would never go somewhere if she was going, and I couldn’t take her anywhere where they were going! It was horrible. For over 5 years it went on this way, but then we decided to get married. My parents didn’t even come to our wedding! It was very sad because ALL her family came and was so excited for us, but I tried not to be sad. And by some miracle, my mom came to our house the very next day! And she stayed with us, and treated my wife like her daughter.
    Your parents love you. They should. However mad they are at you, even if they SAY they are going to disown you (mine did!) and they don’t want you at their funeral (yep), they will still eventually look at you and think “my baby”. You have to insist that they do. You have to insist that you are more important that religion, and Kuwait, and any of these other stupid things that clog up our lives. Remember that in your life, its only the people you come across, and the relationships you build that matter. And you really just can’t do that on lies, because someday when it’s least convenient, lies will fall down like a house of cards!
    wishing you the best of luck

  23. My parents are as muslim and kuwaiti as they can be, seriously, my mom is covered from head to toe and she teaches islamic studies, we (the children) all lived abroad and our eldest sister spent the most time in the states.. came back with tatoos and piercings, hid them for as long as she could but eventually got caught.. she couldn’t handle the life in q8 so went to work and live in dubai.. ended up marrying a christian arab and my parents disowned her.. 3 yrs later she had a baby and her husband converted to islam so the family wud forgive her and reunite and they did eventually.. she got divorce short after and kept her baby, named after my dad, and lived with her parents and they cant be any happier with their first grand child living with them.

    what i am trying to say is no matter how far u go and how long u stay away from ur family u will eventually come back to them because they will forgive you someday.. it will be hard and painfull but eventually it will happen and i think its worth the wait.

  24. Sounds so much like me, I am a dude though

  25. i was in a similiar situation… i was born and raised in oregon, and my parents are strong muslim kuwaitis. i had the same guilty feeling because i fell in love with an american girl in college even though ive known her my whole life (since middle school) and i wanted to marry her with my family’s blessing… being a guy is MUCH easier but i confronted my dad after hiding it for 3 yrs. my family was mad and didnt wanna talk to me and wanted back in kuwait asap.. i wanted to be a rebel and duke it out and stay in the states but i chose to come back here feeling homesick without my girlfriend…
    eventually i spent 18 months convincing my family that all i want out of this life is to marry her and they finally gave in.
    im now married with a 1 yr. old son and my parents are in love with my wife.
    so i really feel for u and ur situation is F#$&@# bcoz ur a girl… all i can say is prioritize and advance in tackling ur problems..
    Its very easy sayin it behind my monitor but i do wish u best of luck!

  26. i got tierd from reading the comments, sweety this has nothing to do with you being a muslim or islam… lets leave that aside, if you are 18 like we are guessing, i believe your are stil young and this kind of love is not yet the mature love, you have to think straight… think of what kind of future do you want, do you want to get married and get kids and raise them the way you parents raised you and your brothers? or you want to live in the states and be away from kuwait, or bring your american husband and live in kuwait. once you have the answer then youll know what to do. obviously you admire your mom and dad and how they raised you, which is something beautiful, ifyou drink thats no biggie you seem like a wise spritual girl who wouldnt do something stupid, you seem sensitive and caring for your parents feeling which is absolutly lovely, BUT if you plan on geting kids and living in kuwait with your american husband put in mind its going to be a hrad finacial living because kuwait is a country that provides so much for families, and ask your dad for a little of knowledge in that.. meaning you gt help for rent, kids, bonuses, jobs ….etc that us kuwaities are not thankful for but other contries admire that! and wish for a split of a second that they can gain all that! your children will be treated differantly becaus ethey are ajanib not kuwaities. and if you live in the states sweety its just so far away fro your great parents to enjoy you married and see their grandchildren. and if you are enjoying the lifestyle, look harder youll find plenty of decent kuwaiti men who are open minded and drink, and trust you and will love you and cherish you and would treat you right … its young love its beautiful buts its always wrong when its so young, give yourself time and think wisely see how you see your self when your 30 and 40 and dont screw your life cuz of innocent luv that can change very easily 🙂

  27. Trust Allah, Read more about your religion.
    Don’t judge islam based on some muslims !! ( u know what i mean )
    Get back to your culture, or investigate yourself at least.

    The best for God, The forgiven sinner.

  28. @Anette
    Why the bad swearing words??
    Our islam (thankfully) teaches us not to swear at ppl and respect others and their religion.
    Before u judge muslims and islam u should know the reasons. The children follows the fathers names, religion etc. most likely also live in the same country and hv same culture.
    Thats one of the reasons why a man can marry a non-muslim.

    As for you my friend, I will not give you advice as if ur a muslim coz ur not, u so believe in good but not islam. I would love to tell u to go back to your religion.
    When in love, you will not see much aspects. Have you thought of life after marriage? don’t just think of the romantic and happy life it somes with, think of responsibility. The culture difference. The difference in religion, in thinking etc. Think beyond ur love.

    Many of us heard that b4 and didnt believe it. I am one of them, which is marriage isn’t all about love. Dont marry some1 just coz ur madly in love!!!! Love b4 marriage may not always be as it is after marriage. YES i know u will think im wrong. Look at the westerns!! don’t you see how much they break up / get divorced/ etc. That means that their lifestyle isn’t the perfect one!

    Don’t u c in movies how their kids treat their parents??? Most of them leave house when they r 18 and don’t care about their families. Thats not us!! Not our arab cultures.

    Don’t lose ur parents trust and love for a guy. U know him for 5 yrs but u know ur parents for the lifetime. They will be their to support u, always!

  29. ARR – “Look at the westerns!! don’t you see how much they break up / get divorced/ etc. That means that their lifestyle isn’t the perfect one!”

    And how exactly is the whole divorce issues working out here in Kuwait?? Seems that an extremely equal amount of Arabs AND Westerners are getting divorced these days, not just “westerners”. No ones lifestyle is “the perfect one” and who exactly are you to judge?

    And how we treat our families? Based on movies? Are you joking?

  30. Thanks for your confession, it really made me see that I’m not the only one in a situation like yours..Ive got the great upstanding Muslim family too, but I’m the one with all of your doubts and fears about who YOU really are and what YOU want to do and especially what you want to believe–not what your parents want you to. I couldn’t agree more with any1, and I’m so glad that there are people like him/her out there who don’t judge and want you to do whats best for yourself. Best of luck!

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