Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 13 – Cruel Blackmail

In Confessions on April 9, 2010 at 9:09 AM

Back when I was 12 years old, I was blackmailed by an older kid in the school. He threatened me that he will photoshop a picture of make and make it as if I was nude in a dirty scene and email/post it over the internet. It might seem very stupid and retarded, but I was barely 12 back then and internet scandal was the ‘big thing’.

What he demanded was that I cut a period and go with him to the bathroom where he would ‘check me out’ in private. I kept refusing and telling him to post them I don’t care. Until one day he told me I’m going to post them all over the forums tonight and email them to everyone in the school, imagine what would happen if the whole school saw them, and then it would reach your parents. At that point I freaked out and literally stopped thinking. I couldn’t even think of the possibility that this is all fake, neither could I ask him to show me what does he have of me, so I went with him to the bathroom, he asked me to take my clothes off, I did then he took his off and started getting aggressive. At this point I pushed him away and I whispered “what the hell are you doing?!” and quickly got my clothes back on and I ran out.

I felt beyond horrible, I was so stupid, I immediately ran to the counsellor crying my heart out pretending I had a terrible stomach-ache and I told her to call my mom, so I could run away. She gave me some tea herbs and told me to swallow them but I was crying so hard she called my mom as she thought it was serious.

Luckily it was a Wednesday (first day of the weekend back then), I spent that whole weekend in my room with the lock on, I barely talked to anyone and was too disgusted to eat. I was deeply depressed and missed school on Sunday claiming to still be ‘sick’.

I attended Monday, but I made sure I wouldn’t go into the school until the first class started so I wouldn’t have to run into him and I completely avoided him in breaks. It was hell, I had to keep my eyes out I couldn’t stay focused talking with anyone, and whenever I see him or even someone that looks like him I would run off immediately and hide somewhere. My friends were like ‘where did you disappear to?’

In addition to that, I would cry and have nightmares literally every night. He also started spreading rumours but luckily no one believed him as I was quite known in my school.

It stayed like that every single day, we even had a period on Wednesday where both our classes had a P.E class and we would be in the same place, I made sure never to attend that class and I told my mom to pick me up every single week cause it was the last period on Wednesday and it was pointless. Until about a month or so when school finished. We travelled the whole summer, then when school started he went to high school and I started to pull my life together once again. But I was corrupted beyond repair. I was so angry and insecure, I was so rude to everyone, my grades went down the hill and I was depressed,very unsocial and weird.I would make random excuses whenever my parents asked about what was going on with me, like I dont have any friedns or nobody likes me. But I slowly started to become less weird and more normal. Never became normal though.

I never saw him again, except once after a couple of years I saw him in a mall and he winked at me. My heart started beating so hard, I was so scared, I looked like as if I had just seen a ghost. Of couse I left the mall immediately.

It was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced. I still have nightmares every once in a while. And here I’m, 7 years later I’m attending university abroad. and still had not told no one about it, NO ONE, not till now. I’m planning to undergo therapy as I still have trust and insecurity issues. I cannot believe how stupid and naive I was.

God it feels so good to finally let it out for the first time..

  1. WoW…that took guts…but im sorry to say there are alot more people, that have experienced some what , what you have and its sad to say alot of kuwaiti’s are aggresive and “rapeish” type XD and i really hope everything goes well for you id love to start some campaign “STOP RAPE” no really good luck you dont need therapy you just have to call that guy and tell him to “F**k off and if u ever try to rape any1 again imma cut your footballs off”

    • this barely has anything to do with rape, let alone in conclusion to this event, 2 people were nude, end of story. Sad to hear your story who ever you are, but you need to get over it, therapy is one way and confidence is another, you study abroad now and this is 7 years old, its time you put the away, move on, and besides nothing happened at the end, some kids get raped in school on a weekly basis or really violated, your lucky you pulled this one off with barely any damage done. Look at the bright side and move on.

  2. Its a sad story! I am sorry to hear that..I think apart from the therapy you need to build confidence in you. Just think positive and hope for the best. Good Luck!

  3. Seek out help through therapy. I’m not sure where you are studying abroad, but try and find an organization that can help you with your problem. You are not alone in this situation that has happened to you.

    A lot of universities in America offer free sessions with a psychologist (mine did), so look into that.

  4. Seeking therapy is a good idea
    I think you should speak to your family, they would be supportive

  5. Hun, you have to pick yourself up.You shouldn’t be depressed and let it rule your life. Lots of weird things happen in High school. But we were teenagers and didn’t know better. We didn’t really understand the new world yet, and those that did had the power to scare us. Even without blackmail, lots of teenagers would go something and a second after it would wonder how in gods name did they get here. I’m sure everyone had one of these moments. But don’t be ashamed of it, you should take it is something you did, which you know was a mistake, and we all need mistakes to move on and grow, or else how much can our personality and identity be shaped if we don’t do mistakes, big or small ones. Noone judges anyone except for their own selves, and if they do, you can tell them to waste their time with someone that cares. To me as long as you don’t repeat the same mistake, then you have learned something and grew. That’s the point of being a teenagers, to shape your adulthood and life, do not let it ruin yours.

  6. hey… u were neither stupid nor naive.. anyone under pressure wud have done that.. and i know wat trauma u have been thru.. i have gone thru the same thing u can say.. so may God be with u, its not worth it, life is short, live it as well as u can!

  7. you should’ve talked to the police and report that someone sexually harrased u;s

  8. that took some real guts ! although you should’ve filed a report , but i can see why you didnt want to , the shame , the horrible thoughts , it would only get worse .
    you shouldnt feel ashamed though ,you were young and naive and thats understandable, but dont be depressed over something that happened 7 years ago and not worth thinking about , you should go out and be happy to the world , its not all bad , and dont feel weird like u dont fit in with everytone else , its okay we’re all good and broken , i used to be bullied in elementary school and hell yeah it wasnt eay i used to cry in the bathroom and scratch my arms til they bled .
    you should be haunting his nightmares , not the other way around .

  9. I had a crush on this guy and our feelings toward each other was mutual, until he told everybody that i was a whore. Suddenly everyone turned against me, especially my friends. I had no one to turn to and ended up feeling depressed and hiding in my house for a long time. I hated myself and lived in fear all through-out high school and i saw a therapist about my dilemma, but it didn’t help that much. All you need to do is find a way to start your life over, getting to know new people, building confidence and re-gaining your self-esteem. Don’t worry. You’ll find a way to feel good about yourself again. All you need to do is love yourself and push yourself out there for the world to see.

  10. Damn,cmon get some energy and try to find him.cover your face with mask or get any friend and take him aside and hit him badly till his nose bleeds off. but this hitting should be by you. after take off your mask(if feel convenient) and tell him “you got it what your were suppose to” and your friend can help you in catching him and threating him. if you do not find any friend due to social issues, reply me i will help you out surely.
    please do it, next time he will be scare of you. if you will live in this trauma. you can not defend tomorrow your family even, he or anyone like him can harass you and your wife&kids and you will just stay as you are.

    • Hey there, luqman. Thanks for the comment. I’m already controlling my fears and i’m not like i was when i was younger. I already have friends and close friends that i trust that i can my secrets to. The only problem now is that i can’t trust any guy. That’s the only thing that’s in my way, trust.

  11. First of all, I’m really sorry for what has happened to you in the past. I couldn’t IMAGINE being in your situation. What you did would be any 12 year old would do being in that situation, it’s ok.
    Secondly, don’t you ever think that Allah would leave him alone. “What comes around goes around” sooner or later. What he’s put you through is such a horrible thing, and Allah WILL punish him for what he’s done.
    I’m proud of you for typing your story and finally letting it out. May Allah protect you from those monsters.
    I hope you get well soon. Stay strong.

  12. It takes alot of guts to say something that hapenned a while a go, and its better to let out these thoughts, rather than keeping them in, or else they will be there for a while

  13. People like that are better off… I would say dead but perhaps some of you will think that is too much. But what if he did this to other people? He needs to be stopped, please make an effort to put and end to such bad people.

  14. for some reason i feel like i missed the story i read it twice and i didnt see where the harm was? you CHOSE to meet him in the bathroom. you CHOSE to take your clothes off.. then he wanted 2 snatch a feel and u took off… where is the emotional scarring?

    I call Pathetic (no offense)
    i think you should read some stories in here then ull get over it..

  15. incidents that happened when we’re young stick to us and especially the incidents that we don’t share with anyone, since you let it out, I hope u’ll get better, i figure your living alone abroad try not to be lonely, try to get busy cuz sitting with out anything to do and wondering off brings back memories we usually don’t want remember, and if u feel stress and depressed i’d recommend “kalms” it relaxes you and make you feel better, take care

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