Kuwait's Confession Box

Confession 71 – What Do Guys Want?

In Confessions on July 21, 2010 at 2:04 AM

The sequel to post # 35.

Given the huge response received to post #35, the question of what guys want was raised, and it would be interesting to find out, ladies and gents.

To recap what women want: I should have worded the question differently, what women need, as opposed to want. A need is basic, a necessity, whereas wants are unlimited.
Some want love, some want marriage, some want the baby in the golden carriage!

What about guys? What is it we need from women?

Guys are painted in a bad light in relationships most of the time. Blame the media and stereotypes. Guys are seen as being emotionally distant, uncaring, and focused on only one thing. Read the confessions here, there are plenty. The sins of the few reflect on the many, and the good deeds reflect on the few.

Men do not have tunnel vision, nor one-track-minds.

I dont think men have complicated wants. Theres a joke that goes “women shouldnt undress infront of other women, they’re judgmental, whereas guys are just grateful”, that is the reality of the siutation, minus the undressing ofcourse!

Its hard being a man in this world. In case you havent noticed, men outnumber women here by ALOT. For women, there literally are plenty of fish in the sea, so it feels like walking a tight-rope for guys, one mistake and SPLAT! You’re street pizza.

So is it true that men always have to make the first move? I hope not! We are so desensitized by how the media paints love to be, we play the waiting game on the notion of pride, “he should, she should”, which eventually leads to both tiring and boring and moving on.

So, to resolve this issue, as I said before, ask this simple question to your significant other:

“How would you tell if someone was in love with you?”

This is foolproof, and I speak from experience. If the answer you get is what you have been doing for the person, then know that there is definitely something there. Or, be bold and phrase it as a statement, if I wanted someone to know I love them, I would…

Guys have insecurities; it is not only a girl thing. We tend to second guess ourselves, therefore, just waiting for a guy to do everything, without dropping hints, is intolerable cruelty.

(“a friend” recently met someone, they hit it off really well, lots in common. All of the sudden: poof. Gone. She could be dead for all he knows :/    )

I’m referring of course, to the decent guy. Gals must have an internal criterion for thinning the herd and selecting the decent guy, who is wired to romantically enamor for the long run.

Guys want a woman who is sensitive, yet strong. Flirtatious, yet sincere. Men are geared to be providers, so you must be “in need”.
Guys are sensitive too. It is expected of guys to provide for their significant other, what you may think of bigotry or arrogance, is in fact sincerity & male-chivalry (sometimes it just is bigotry. Again, not the decent guy).

Guy always insists on paying, on doing everything, even if you are capable of doing it yourself, it soothes the primitive gene that tells man “you do all”.

Just as a guy should not pamper a women so as to spoil her, women must not pamper men too much that they would “expect” that as regular treatment e.g. a guy gets gifts for his girl on a weekly basis, for no reason, suddenly stops. Girl asks, why, get me more gifts. Guy has made an act of endearment into a regular chore. Keep it haphazard. And always respond in kind. If a guy has not given you a gift, do not shower them with gifts. Give a little, get a little. Works with fishing; works with people.

Societal stereotypes have typecast men into a monotonous category of unflinching, unyielding dictators, “my way or the highway” mentality. Men are not one-trick ponies. They deal with how society wants them to appear, and how they want to be. What is the impression of “stay-at-home” dad here? Non-existent, hop over to the west, its common-place.

Men want women that can think for themselves, and at the same time know when not to question. Again, society, male ego, it is not a matter of dominance. Science has shown that men think with their minds, women think with their emotions.

What do I want? Simple, Justin Bieber (gag!) sang it best: I just want somebody to love.

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  1. You had someone to love, and you also had someone who loved you very much in return.. I am sorry i gave to much, that is who i am as a person.. I never expected anything but you in return.. Was that to much to ask?

    And i havent gone anywhere, it is for my own health and sanity that i am staying away from you.. You never explain anything to me when i need clarity and you leave me to think what i please, what can you expect from a person if you do not communiate back with them?

    If you wish to know if I am still alive try calling my phone number! I do have a phone!

    I am sorry, I love you to bits, You are the love of my life, and I now have to move on knowing that I will never be able to love you, nor meet you.. Please let me at least have a friendship.. I have nothing else in my life.. Would you take that away from me too?

    =’(

  2. Peace Monkey-Man

    xoxo

  3. soonds 2 me like u hav wrong post Relctant… t7awlein tektabein confession we saweti comment?

    confessor: 5osh ketaba!

  4. Loool, thats brillian The Law, I only wish that were true, I have known lordaymz for nearly 3 years now tho.. and he tells me that he would like my comments removed..

    would you like his phone number ;)

    sorry, i dont understand arabic either :P

    oh, and apparently i am a stalker, and i dont have the right to be on this web site making comments(freedom of speech??) , funny things seeing how my good friends lordaymz was the one who put me on to the web site.. go back and read all the comments, it will all make sense..

    and for heavens sake, the girl who is on this website that he has been seeing recently, open your eyes woman! he is a wonderful man! completely adorable and one of a kind.. even tho bloody difficult.. he would make any woman a wonderful husband!! and he is in love with YOU!!

    Huh, and he thinks that i am out to ruin him..

    Lordaymz, you shoulda been more honest with your friend sweets, but thats cool, our cultures are very different, i am a typical aussie girl and you are a lovely decent egyptian man.. guess it was doomed from the start..

    Best of wishes to the both of you.. let us all know how it goes?

    xoxo

  5. pimpin him out, how nize!
    ya sabaya, any takerz on this fine specimen gentleman?!

  6. Interesting ……..

  7. =-)

    hello miss M,,

    good luck sweets, he really is gorgeous!! you are very lucky..

    xo

    i will exit his life now, just dont hurt him!

  8. quoting justin beiber REALLY ?!?!

  9. to the poster: TRUE DAT very articulate & right ur tongue.
    The jb quote was like putting a kia engine in a ferrari.

    @ Reluctant: thank u for confusing me into a pretzel

  10. Well dr. Zhivago, it pretty much boils down to this.. If one were to go back to confession #44 and put our author here of this post in the place of the young man that i was referring to, that may make a little more sense?

    Either way, i am sad to say,, you were right in the advise that you gave to me,, to a tee..

  11. loooooooooooooool
    Reluctant ur da cradle-robber luvin sum1 9 years younger!
    get over it and move on; obviously he has, sh’salfa f’hal nasaween elem5rb6h

  12. LMAO, nah The Law, only 7 years younger..

    And yep, over it i am, i needed to have my say, this past week he has been mighty cruel, it was not me that needed to let go and move on, i already have, which is why the poor pup was upset that his friend disappeared (meaning me :P)..

    i could not be happier for him, i have exhausted myself begging him to let me go for the past 6months.. i wish him nothing but the best..

    he is too young, and he wanted something that he could never have, and therefore he had troubles letting go.. and he knew i couldnt either..

    all is done now, and we can all move on for the best :- )

  13. wayed tsolf 3an love o madre shno o u have to meet the right person before geting married. I have studied in praivte schools my whole life and never fell in love (as the MEDIA potrays).i got married to a great woman who i just saw at my last smester at uni. got her car’s number plate found out min binta 5i6abtha and boom im married in 3 months o im now happily married and have 2 children. if you want to go down the western way (flirt,date,propose on your knees o get married ) m6awla alsalfa o int bil kuwait u will have to be discreet and she’ll end the relationship. shooflik bint 7alal isal 3anha (alkuwait izgeera smaller than u imagine u can know anything about anyone in seconds) o i56bha allah yarzg bilnyat

  14. Men just wanna hit it & leave…smh…

  15. Confessor well said, it took me along time to understand what men wants and it is not far than what u said. Hopefully one day u find the one .

    Reluctant : good luck u don’t look like some one who moved on. A woman who talks so much about a relation ship is for sure still stuck there. It’s hard to move on we all know it. So good luck again

  16. agree

  17. hmhh nice post :]
    But what men want women to know? Men are simple, just learn how to understand them, for some tips check out —> this

  18. all we want is to watch the game and have a good time … is that so hard to understand
    GOD!!!

  19. Huuuh!! Men dont know what they want!!

    and they can alll get fucked!! they all want you, but not the responsibility!!!

    we aint free guys, learn that, and learn it well!!

    me thru.. enuffa u..

    and Laloona, you dont know the half of it.. everytime i try to move on, i get pulled back!!

    All men are LIARS!! Even this sweet one!!

    and now, i can move on, coz he wont talk to me after this.. and that dont matter, i will be in the nuthouse anyways..

  20. So people know the type of man this is:: This is what i was sent two days ago.. He feels it necessary to use all of the KE posts to call me a stalker, again.. I would like people to see that what he is doing is nothing more than a relatiation attack for my comments here on KE!! I have taken the liberty to remove his amd my email addresses only, the rest is untouched, it is all his own words..

    He fights with lies, I respond with the truth.. And this will never change..

    date 25 October 2010 14:07
    subject Re: Do the right thing
    mailed-by gmail.com
    Signed by gmail.com

    hide details 25 Oct (2 days ago)

    ummm,, no..

    remember how many times i told u to stop posting on KE? u never listened to me then, so your pleas now for me to remove that post are falling on deaf ears.

    hows it like to have someone be an embarassment to you online? now the shoe is on the other foot.

    cyberspace is big enough or us both to co-exist without crossing paths again nik, so do yourself a favor and stay off my blog, i dont check yours, you are entitled to your opinions, as i am to mine.

    plus, we’re a week away from november, by which time the post will just be another entry under october.

    so, summary: walk away and dont look back.

  21. u need help Reluctant, even I can see that

    meskeen, all he wants is to be rid of u. allah y3eenah

  22. oh loool, wait, ur name is nik? know what that means in araby? lololol

  23. humanity,, u are wiser than you think..

    i went back AGAIN!! i need more than help tho, i need a bullet, thats about the only thing that will do it i think..

    my name?? well, it means “victory of the people” in greek(and many other languages!).. whats the arabic then?

    thnx 4 the advice, i will lisen this time, or i’ll find the bullet myself!!

  24. humanity,, u are wiser than you think..

    i went back AGAIN!! i need more than help tho, i need a bullet, thats about the only thing that will do it i think..

    my name?? well, it means “victory of the people” in greek(and many other languages!).. whats the arabic then?

    thnx 4 the advice, i will lisen this time, or i’ll find the bullet myself!!

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